UPJOKE
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Bone Dry Jokes

Three vampires are bragging to each other...

The first says "Watch this." leaves, and is back in an instant, mouth covered in blood. He points at a villager and says "You see that villager? Sucked him dry."

The second, impressed, but not willing to be outdone, leaves and returns just as fast as the first, blood covering her mouth, neck ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks up to a bartender

And points at a cup about 10 feet away sitting on the bar. Man says, “I’ll bet you $300 I can piss in that cup and not get a drop anywhere else.” Bartender thinks on it for a second and he responds, “you’re on.”

So the guy stands up on the bar, gets ready, and pisses everywhere. He hits the d...

Skeleton jokes

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man finally get out of jail...

...after spending 28 years on the inside for multiple felonies. And just like any other male that hasn't touched a woman after 28 years, he wanted to get some ass. Unfortunately this guy had gotten taken to jail with only $40, so that is what he had when he was released.
Without wasting anytim...

The world's philosophers and theologians have gathered for a summit...

...held, dramatically enough, on the summit of an actual mountain. Everyone was having a great time, mingling together, discussing the great philosophical questions of the day.

Rumors started to swirl around about one particular holy man who had joined the day's festivities. This particularly...

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