UPJOKE
assistance dogterrierhoundlyhoundishwolfhoundsighthoundhoundgreyhoundretrievercynophiliapuppygazehoundyorkipoodoglikebeagle

Service Dog Jokes

A blind man with a service dog walked into a bar

The construction worker holding the bar said, "Dude, you need a new dog!"

A blind man walks into a convenience store with his service dog

He heads down an aisle and pauses, his faithful Golden Retriever by his side. With a grunt he picks the dog up by the leash and starts swinging him in circles over his head.

*Wooosh wooosh wooosh*

Bags of chips are flying around and candy bars are falling to the floor, along with a cla...

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help.

Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady walked into a bar with her service dog

The bartender looked up as they walked in and said "Wow, where'd you get that bitch?"

The woman, shocked, stated "I'll have you know this is a purebred French poodle!"

And the bartender said "Lady, I was TALKING to the poodle!"

The flight to the service dog convention was delayed cuz they were all assigned the same seat.

All their tickets said K9

A man takes his service dog to the stripclub

The bouncer stops him at the door and says “We don’t normally allow animals in here, but according to the government, I can only ask what special task your dog has been trained to do, not what your disability is. So, what’s he do?”

“He takes the money to the dancer and puts it in her g-string...

Did you hear that Apple is developing a robotic service dog?

It’s called the iChihuahua.

Two guys are walking down the road with their dogs, one guy has a doberman and the other has a chihuahua, when they come across a restaurant

They want to go in but there's a sign on the door that says "no pets allowed - service dogs only". The guy with the doberman says, "don't worry I got this." He proceeds to put on a dark pair of sunglasses and walks inside.

The manager comes up to him and says, "sir, you can't have your dog in...

Blind Man: I love this half sandwich restaurant

Me: What do you mean? They only serve full sand...

Service Dog: (puts a paw on my lips)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Service Dog

Just left Walmart where a lady asked me what kind of dog i had. I said a GSD service dog. Very rudely she yells what type of service? I said he is a BLD. What's a BLD? She asked as she has her face in my dog's face allowing him to lick her......Now with a straight face I said "He is my butt licking ...

Three men go walking their dogs to go to the bar

Three men walking their dogs together walk to a bar that has a big sign saying "no dogs allowed"

The first man says "I'll have a drink" and walks in and when the bouncer points to the sign the man sticks his arm out straight and says "it's a seeing eye dog" and gets in

The second man,...

How does the blind man know his backside is clean after a no.2

When his service dog stops licking.

Why don’t blind people go skydiving?

Because it scares their service dogs too much

A blind fella is in a department store walking up and down the aisles with a white cane in one hand while swinging a service dog on a leash above his head with the other hand. A store employee asks if he needs assistance.

The blind fella replies, “No thanks, just looking.”

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

A blind man

A blind man walks into a store with his service dog. He goes to the middle of the store, picks the dog up by its hind legs and starts spinning around. Everyone in the store stops and stares. The store manager immediately runs up to him and says "Sir, can I help you find something?" The blind man, st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was standing at an intersection...

waiting on traffic to change so I could cross. While I waited a blind man also stopped at the corner with his service dog. While we stood waiting I noticed the dog lift his leg and pee on the man's pants leg. Once the dog was done the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a treat and offer it t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.