UPJOKE
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Border Collie

# At the end of the day, a Border Collie reported back to the rancher, "All 50 sheep accounted for, boss!"

# "Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.

# "I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."

I used to have a border collie...

...then my parents fed him too much and he became husky.

A boy is walking home with groceries and his border collie...

... and he comes across a pool of toxic waste.
Absolutely shocked at this sight, he dropped his groceries and let go of his dog. His dog wasn't the smartest, and it jumped into the toxic waste. The boy's groceries also fell in. After finally recovering, the boy called the cops to report both h...

What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull?

A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.

Border collies are not very inbred...

You know what dogs *are* inbred?

Hotdogs.

Two border collies are going to sleep on their farm.

Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.

Tom the border collie jumps up asking, "Did you hear that from the sheep, Boomer?"

Boomer the Collie: "Of course I herd them."

Farmer and his dog...

A farmer asks his Border Collie if he wants to hear a joke.

The dog replies yes.

The farmer says: There's a flock of sheep...

The Dog says: Herd it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

**Golden Retriever**: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

**Border Collie**: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

**Dachshund**: I can't reach the stupid la...

My Dog

I got a new dog recently, a nice little puppy border collie. He’s active and nimble and I take him on walks all the time. I decided to name him “five miles” so I could say I walked five miles today.


Two weeks ago, something unusal for me happened. I ran over five miles.

A farmer wanted to know how many sheep he had...

So he asked his border collie to count them from him.

The dog ran off counted the sheep and ran back to the farmer.

"So how many sheep do I have?" Asked the farmer.

"40" said the border collie.

"How can there be 40?" Asked the farmer. "I only bought 38."

The dog re...

What breed will Donald Trumps dog be if he wins the election?

A Border Collie

What kind of dogs will patrol the Trump wall?

Border Collies!

I just came up with this after not sleeping for 30+ hours. Sorry for the cheesy goodness.

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