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Disowned Jokes

My father just disowned me and my brother after we got hired as valets…

I guess we can understand him, no man alive wants to have Parking-sons

What is a parent that has disowned their child called?

A paren't

How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My parents disowned me because they were under the impression I was gay.

It hit me like a ton of dicks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking over a bridge and he sees a beautiful woman about to jump...

He tries to talk her down, but she's too distraught. Finally, he says to her, "Well, if you're gonna kill yourself anyway, why not give me a nice blowjob first?"

She replies, "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I guess I might as well make *somebody* happy before I die."

So she climbs do...

A stranger comes up and sits on the chair besides me.

"My week has been horrible," he says.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It only gets worse and worse for each day," he says,.

"Tell me about it."

"On Monday I was fired," he said.

"On Tuesday I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me."

"On Wednsday my parents d...

My Asian friend had a blood test

His parents nearly disowned him when he got B+

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"Purple Passion"

A boy was walking to school. A creepy man jumps out from behind a bush and screams at the kid, "Purple passion!"

Needless to say, the boy was frightened and took another way to school. He was late. The teacher asks why, and he explains:

"Some weird guy shouted 'Purple passion!' on my w...

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The purple flower joke. (Very long)

Once there was a boy in 5th grade, and he really liked this girl (simp) and he knew that she liked the color purple.

So one day during recess he found these purple flowers and decided to make his move on the girl, so he walked up to her (with the flowers) and said "You are my purple flower" a...

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The Purple Flower

So there's this guy walking to school and on his way there he sees these two girls talking to each other. He drops in on their conversation and hears them talking about a purple flower. He thought to himself "Purple flower?" and stops to think about it. He realizes he's late for school and runs as f...

The old man, the prince, and the fish.

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the...

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