UPJOKE
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What do you call the guy who's responsible for the seating arrangement for the disinterested?

Chair man of the bored.

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Jack Russle and Great Dane at the vets...

A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets...

JR: "Why are you here ?"

GD: "Fuck off."

JR: "No, come on, let's be friendly, we're both dogs, we don't want to be here, we should support each other,"

GD: "<sigh>"

JR: "I'll tell you why I'...

A hundred year old couple seeks a divorce.

A hundred year old couple enters a lawyers office. After inviting them to sit he asks what he can do for them. They tell him they are seeking to divorce. The lawyer is puzzled and asks how long they've been married for. 79 long years the woman replies. The man adds that they've been deeply unhapp...

Two Ranchers make a deal.

One rancher has the largest bull in Texas and the second rancher has the best milking cow in the county. They decide to mate the two and split the offspring between them.

They lead the bull to the cow, but the cow walk away disinterested. The bull tries to mount the cow, but the cow walks aw...

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A Frenchman, an American and an Indian guy are shipwrecked.

They're floating in the water and a shark swims up. Comes in for the kill and eats the Frenchman. Comes back around and grabs the American. At this point the shark swims up to the Indian, sniffs around a little bit and then disinterestedly starts swimming away. The Indian shouts out to the shark, "h...

A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wond...

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A biology professor decides to start the new term with a bang.

A biology professor decides to start the new term with a bang.

He steps up to the podium and looks for the most disinterested girl in the room.

Pointing out a particularly bored looking blonde girl he announces "Today we're going to start by discussing involuntary muscle contractions. ...

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A strip club owner is lamenting about his dwindling business to his wife.

A strip club owner is eating breakfast with his wife. He begins to cry. "Honey, things are changing. Men just ain't spending money at titty bars like they used to."

"Oh that can't be." She responds. "There are some things men will always go to a strip club for."

"But honey, I've tried ...

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A mother takes her little son to the doctor for a check-up.

After some time, he leaves the doctor's office with a little packet in his hand.
"Doctor said I should take this." the boy explains disinterestedly.
"What is that?" the mother asks him.
"Dunno."
"Well, go back in and ask the doctor what exactly that is."
So the boy goes back into the...

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A guy goes to see the doctor...

A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him.
Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor that he thinks might be able to help.
The witch docto...

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A man wakes up from a nightmare in a cold sweat

He wakes his wife up to tell her about the dream.

"Honey, i dreamt I was a wigwam."

"A wigwam?"

"Exactly! A wigwam!"

His wife is disinterested, because this appears not to be scary or a nightmare.

He tries to tell his friends about it, but they aren't interested e...

The blonde and the lawyer.

A blonde is sat on a plane waiting for everyone to sit down and to get airborne. A guy in an expensive looking suit sits along side her and introduces himself.
Disinterested, she says hi and turns towards the window.
He asks if she'd like to play a game. She says no.
Just after take off ...

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