Deterge Jokes

deterlady

Gainz

A little boy goes into the only grocery store in his small rural town. He asks the clerk for a box of laundry soap. The old man at the counter asked what kind to which the little boy replied "It don't matter, I'm just usin' it ta give my dog a bath anyway." The clerk warned him "That stuff is pretty... read more

so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leake... read more

Tide

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

She had her tubes Tide.

Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads

Because it told him to keep his whites and colours separate.

Sometimes it was All or muffin.

Then it Dawned on me.

A young boy was at the corner of a grocery store picking out a box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. 'Oh, no laundry,' the boy said, 'I'm going to wash my dog.' 'But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's ... read more

Tough on Grime.

Smashes Dirt.

Hard on Stains.

I thought, wow, that last one's a bit too much information…

My hands were tide.

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

Detergents

HM: Can I help you lad?

Sailor: Yes, I am doing laundry but I am out of detergent. Do you might have any?

HM: Sorry lad, I have not. All the boats went out with the tide.

Detergent.

...detergents.

A motion picture crew is filming a Christmas movie. The director wants to sprinkle white laundry soap flakes in front of the camera to simulate snowfall, so he sends his producer to the grocery store to buy some laundry soap.

The producer comes back several hours later. "It's the pandemic, ... read more

One day, the wife looks out of the window and sees the woman hanging her laundry to dry and it's dirty. She says to her husband, "Why is her laundry so dirty? Does she not know how to do laundry properly? Maybe she has bad laundry detergent?"

The husband doesn't say a word. Time and time aga... read more

A nuclear detergent

A man was looking for a job. The only issue was that he had a harelip, so he was hard to understand. One day, he sees a man walking up the street selling laundry detergent door to door, and approaches him. The man says in a cracking voice, "excuse me sir, are you hiring?" The salesman replies, "I do... read more

That would be a real crime detergent.

and Morgan looks out the window and sees the neighbor's laundry hanging up to dry. "They need some new detergent, that laundry is still dirty!" The next morning Morgan wakes up and notices that the laundry is still dirty. This happens for the next couple of months, until one day she wakes up and see... read more

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, “You must be single.” She responds, “You can tell that by what I bought?” The cashier says, “No, you’re ugly.”

the LAUNDRY DETERGENT to wash the stains from my clothes,
and the WISDOM to know the difference.

It's worth joining just to find out the name of the brilliant laundry detergent they use.

The chap behind the counter had fluorescent blue gel like hands. To my further amazement, he was using them as detergent on the clothes.

I said, “excuse me sir, may I ask you to hold my bag whilst I take a photo of your appendages?! I feel like the internet would be amazed at this”
... read more

"Cleanup on the detergent aisle"

Dear Tide

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!
One evening about a month ago, while at home, I spilled some red wine on my new white shirt. My wife started to berate me about my clumsiness and how expensive the shirt was. That I was stupid, couldn't even hold a glass rig... read more