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Dangling Participle Jokes

On his 74th birthday, an old man received a gift certificate from his wife...

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.

Th...

I once dated an English teacher

But when she saw my dangling participle, she was afraid I would split her infinitive.

Hey girl, are you a word processor?

I want you to check my body for dangling participles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

An impotent man goes to see a shaman about a cure.

The shaman works his magic and tells the man that he is healed. All he has to do to get it up is say 1, 2, 3, and to get rid of it he has to say 1, 2, 3, 4. However, he can only do this once a month.

So the man drives home really excited to show his wife. He says "look honey it works! 1, 2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anniversary

On their 40th anniversary, a woman gives her husband a voucher to visit a witch doctor about his erectile dysfunction.

The man asks the doctor what to do about his problem-he just had trouble standing at attention, now that he's over the hill. The witch doctor gives him a medicine and says, ...

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