UPJOKE
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Cu Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing. They're both stuck up c*nts.

My niece asked me what Cu.M. stands for

It took me 2 minutes to understand it was Cubic Meter and not something I was thinking.

My uncle is always bragging about his son, who works in the brass industry.

He’s my CuZn

It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date,

Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue's father suggests: "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey girl, are you made of Copper, Nitrogen, Terbium, and Silver?

Because you are a CuNTbAg.

Which knight invented King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumference

I recently ordered one piece of sodium and one piece of copper.

When the delivery guy showed up, I noticed that he was only holding the sodium. I asked him,

"Did you have the copper with you?"

He replied,

"Na right now, Cu later."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is having sex with a lump of bronze considered incestuous?

Because you're still fucking a CuSn

Boyfriend: “The World is flat”

Girlfriend: Noo It isn’t you idiot..

Boyfriend: But you are my world baby...

Girlfriend: Awww you are so cu.... wait what!?!?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What is long, thick and hard and has cum in it?

A cu-cum-ber

Copper is the only element that have eyes

Becuase it can Cu.

What did the criminal chemist say as he was escaping from a police officer?

Cu later Copper!

What did the copper circle say as it rolled through town?

"Cu around"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and Coke

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and Coke. The bartender says, “Coming right up,” reaches below the counter, pulls out an apple and sets it in front of the man. “What the fuck is this?” asks the man. “Trust me, try it,” says the bartender. The man takes a bite and says it tastes just like rum...

A man with a stutters sits on a train

He asks his neighbour: "e e excu cu se se m m me, wh wh what t t ti time i i is i i it?"

His neighbour remains quiet. This repeats a few times until a friendly person takes a pity and answers the stuttering guy.

After the stuttering guy leaves the train, the friendly person asks the...

"My name is Talia, my mother gave me that name." [NSFW]

Batman: Is your first name Jenny? Coz then you'd be Jennytalia, and I hear you're a total cu**.

Two chemists are hanging out at a bar after work...

One gets up to go home and says "future copper". Puzzled, the other gazes back for a moment before the first clarifies, "Cu later"

How do cows do math?

A cow-culator.

haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.

Two strings walk into a bar

Two strings walk into a bar. The bartender says, “what can I get you guys?”

The first string says, “I’ll have a beer quag fulk koiygf jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67~[[*howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xv#@cu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The King of the Jungle [long] [nsfw]

The lion, the king of the jungle, once summoned all the animals to celebrate his new born child. Sure enough all the animals showed up and gazed with awe upon the famous lion's rock.

The lion roared fiercly and all animals awaited silently the big announcement of their king. After a brief mom...

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