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Coming Out Jokes

Honda is coming out with the 1st electric vehicle with wireless charging

It’s called the Honda Accordless

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Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my ass.

He completely ignored me, and carried on pushing his shopping basket in Walmart

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Coming Out

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot of whiskey. The bartender knows this man only drinks whiskey when he's upset.

"Something wrong?" the bartender asks.

"I just found out my son is gay," the man replies.

The next day, the same man comes in and orders two shots of whiskey....

What’s the difference between a lady coming out of a church and a lady coming out of a bath?

A lady coming out of a church has a soul full of hope and a lady coming out of a bath has a hole full of soap.

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I can't believe how calm my parents are being about me coming out as gay.

Because the wife's going fucking mental.

Ford is coming out with a new truck for those who don’t give a damn about anything or anyone

It’s the new F-U50

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Jewish coming out

Yosef walks up to his mother.

"Imma, I want you to know that I am homosexual and I will marry my boyfriend, Raul."

After a long awkward silence she frowns.

"Raul? That is not a Jewish name!"

The Tetris movie is finally coming out in 2023 after numerous delays.

Every time they finished a line in the script, it disappeared.

Did you hear about the new sports illustrated swimsuit edition coming out?

It’s gonna be nuts.

Fords coming out with heated tailgates.

So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it home.

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My Japanese carp recently got a new aquarium, but they're hiding in rocks and not coming out so much.

They're acting a bit koi.

Playboy are coming out with a new magazine especially for married men.

Every month it's exactly the same woman.

"Why is there music coming out of your printer?"

"That will be the paper jamming again!"

I'm coming out of retirement to build tiny houses.

I just need a little structure.

Dwayne Johnson has a new book coming out.

It's about drive, it's about power.

Did you hear Magnum is coming out with a special edition Grinch condom

It's for 39 and a half foot poles

My book is coming out soon

But don't worry, it's my fault, I shouldn't have eaten it.

There's a new chainsaw coming out soon.

I hear that it's cutting edge technology.

Joel Osteen is coming out with his own brand of candy bars.

They’re called Charlatan Chew.

Davy: "Johnny, aren't you coming out to play today?"

Johnny: "No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework."

There's a movie coming out about a big rig truck.

Have you seen the trailer?

Did you hear PBR is coming out with a new beer cheese spread?

Its called Pabst-Schmear

If you're American going into the bathroom and American coming out, what are you in the bathroom?

European

Keanu Reeves is coming out with a candle line...

He's calling them John wicks.

My coming out story:

A long time ago I was a boy trapped in a woman’s body



9 months later I was born

I see the new Ford Bronco is coming out soon.

I bet the glove compartment is absolutely killer.

Lady GaGa and the GooGoo Dolls are coming out with a children's album.

It's called GooGooGaGa

A man went to a doctors office with carrots sticking out of his nose, and broccoli coming out of his ears.

The doctor took one look at him and said, “Well I can tell right away you‘re not eating right.”

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of the front of his pants.

The bartender looks up and says "Hey Pirate, you've a got a steering wheel coming out of the front of your pants!"

The pirate says "Argh, it's driving me nuts."

What are the perfect snacks to bring to a coming out party?

Twinkies.

Did you hear that Apple is coming out with YET ANOTHER new iPhone model?

Critics are calling it the iPhone Xs.

(Edit: I hate to put this here but: pronounced like “Excess”)

There's a new Back to the Future sequel coming out

It's about time.

I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic

It’s called the Plaguestation 5

Ruger has a new gun coming out.

The Congressman. It doesn't work & you can't fire it.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same...

What did the mathematical 3D graph say to the man coming out of the bathroom

XYZ!

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Did you hear about the Witcher porn parody coming out?

The Attack of the Milfgardians

My wife walked in to our bedroom in a huff earlier after coming out the shower

“Dave, can you remember to shut the curtains please, I’m getting changed and the neighbours can see in” she said angrily.

“Don’t worry babe”, I replied. “If the neighbours see you naked they’ll be sure to shut their own curtains”

So that’s why I’m sleeping in the car tonight.

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A son is coming out to his father

"I'm gay" the son says.

"You aren't thinking straight" says the dad.

And then they laugh and hug, for it was a dad joke.

Did you here about the new movie coming out about the corona virus?

It’s directed by Tentin Quarantino.

"Hey, are you coming out tonight?" I asked my Hindi friend.

He said "Namaste"

I can't look at my father after his coming out

He's trans-parent.

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Everybody hear about the new “Divorce” Barbie coming out for Christmas?

She comes with all of Ken’s shit too.

Did you hear that McDonald’s is coming out with a McJackson burger?

It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

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