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Claustrophobic Jokes

I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators.

I've been taking steps to avoid it.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space!

I only hire Claustrophobic people,

they are so much better at thinking outside of the box.

Why was the fungi feeling claustrophobic?

Because he didn't have mushroom

How many claustrophobics can screw in a lightbulb?

I don’t know I can’t convince any to get inside.

Are all women claustrophobic?

It seems like everyone screams when they're in the trunk of my car.

In my opinion, claustrophobics are the most creative.

They always think out of the box.

I'm claustrophobic...

I'm afraid of Santa.

why don't claustrophobic people like accidentally meeting the same person twice?

They don’t want to be reminded that it’s a small world

What did the claustrophobic ninja do when he fell down a well?

He flipped out

Why did Santa stop coming down the chimney?

Because he became Claustrophobic.

I'll see myself out.

I'm really claustrophobic and just walked into a room crammed full with married people...

Luckily there wasn't a single person in it

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.

He looked around and didn't see anyone so
he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man
for letting him out. The genie said, "For your
kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have
always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never be...

My pregnant wife starting feeling claustrophobic at night.

She was running out of womb.

What do you call someone who is scared of Santas?

Claustrophobic

a guy walks into a bar for a Halloween party...

and is surprised to see the bar decorated for Christmas. "What's with the Christmas decorations?" the guy asks the bartender. "I thought this was supposed to be a spooky Halloween party." "Oh, these decorations are very scary for a lot of people," the bartender replies. "We're gonna terrify people w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bad Tooth

A customer goes to the dentist for a bad tooth. He sits down in the chair and the dentist comes in with his tools and a needle.
“Ok bud, today we are going to inject a numbing agent into your gum to pull that sucker out.” says the dentist. “But I don’t like needles!” The customer replies.
Afte...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist is a genius!

Last week, he suggested we try "exposure therapy" where you face your fears head-on and overcome them.
HIM: So tell me, what are you afraid of?
ME: Well I'm claustrophobic and I'm scared of intimacy.
So he took me into the coatroom and fucked me.

My friend wouldn't come to my Christmas party

and when I asked him why he said he was CLAUStrophobic

Bad Christmas cracker jokes.

Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them!


What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
Baby reindeer!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
...

I'm getting an MRI tomorrow...

to find out whether or not I'm claustrophobic.

Christmas Jokes!

Saw these Christmas one-liners. If everyone is drunk at Christmas, these might be funny!

Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: a wrapper!

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why is Santa so jolly...

John was an Astronaut...

John was an astronaut scheduled to fly on his first mission to the International Space Station. The media frenzy surrounding the launch was maddening. Everywhere John went, the media followed him.

He would part the curtains at his home in the morning, and the media was out there peering in, t...

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