Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 they'd be called chicken sedans.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

If it had four it would be a sedan.

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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday by sneaking into the chicken coop and replacing every white egg with a brightly colored one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats the shit out of the peacock.

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A redneck blonde had her arm inside a chicken coop. Her sister stumbles upon her and asks, "What ya doin'?"

The blonde replied, "Pa asked me to pull out his cock, but it keeps pecking my hand!"

There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens.

After the storm he asked his farmhand how many chickens were left.

“16 chickens, sir.”

“Alright, round them up, please.”

“20 chickens, sir.”

What kind of factory is a chicken coop?

An eggplant!

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A prostitute runs out of a chicken coop and says ...

"Well, that's the last time I do *that* for two cocks!"

I've heard of chicken coops..

.. but never a turkey coup.

A farmer wants to a have new chicken coop built...

so he decides to hire a mathematician to figure out the most efficient way to design it. The mathematician spends hours walking around the farm, taking measurements, counting chickens, making notes, and finishes his work by standing in one spot looking up at the sky for a solid hour, just thinking.<...

What's more terrified than a turkey caught in a chicken coop.

A chicken caught in the Turkey coup.

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A farmer was looking for a new rooster as his old one after many years of faithful service had finally passed on.

When he told his neighbouring farmer about the problem he said "I have just the rooster for you , but I have to warn you Ron is one horny goat of a rooster". How horny can a rooster be the farmer said to himself. "OK sure I'll buy him off you". When the farmer got back to the farm with Ron the roost...

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Farmer Brown goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken.

The cocky young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, “OK, old fellow, time to retire.”


The old rooster says, “You can’t handle all these chickens. Look what it did to me!”


The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this old man. It’s time for the o...

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Your mom is like a chicken coop...

Cocks fly in and out all day!

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A man decided he was sick of city life and moved to the country.

After getting situated, he decided he needed some animals on the farm. He searched the local ads and found a farmer willing to relinquish some livestock for a fee.

He promptly goes to the farmers home and begins his inquiry.

First is the chicken coop and he finds the most beautiful roo...

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A Misbehaving Farmboy

One morning, on a farm in rural Kansas, a boy named Henry went into the kitchen. Mama said "Henry!!! You cain't have no breakfast 'til you do yer chores. So, go on, milk the cow, feed them pigs and clean that chicken coop."

So, an angry Henry storms outta the house and milks the cow and sla...

Farmer Smartass

A grandson goes to visit his grandfather's farm. He asks his grandfather, "Why does that chicken house have two doors?"

The grandfather replies, "It has two doors because it's a chicken coop. The one over there with four doors is a chicken sedan."

A man runs out of gas while driving through rural Iowa...

His cell phone dead, he walks along the highway until he finds a farmhouse. He knocks on the door, and an old farmer offers to fuel up his car after they finish dinner, which he kindly invites him to.

While enjoying his meatloaf and company of the farmer and his wife, the man looks out the wi...

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Dirty Easter Joke

This rooster wakes up early Easter Sunday morning. He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. He takes a look at the eggs, takes a look at the hens, takes another look at the eggs, takes one more look at the hens, he thinks about it for a ...

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A farmer buys a rooster

A farmer has a few hens and decides to buy a rooster to help breed the population. After a few days of having this rooster, he walks to the chicken coop one day and sees the rooster fucking all the hens. "GODDAMN, that roosters gonna kill himself at the pace he's going!", the farmer says.

A f...

A ventriloquist decides to retire to and buy a farm.

So this ventriloquist decided he is going to retire and buy a farm. He sees a farm for sale from an old widowed farmer. He meets the farmer and learns his name is farmer Brown. The farmer is showing him around and the ventriloquist decides he will have a little fun with the farmer. As they walk p...

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A man comes home very drunk late at night...

So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, *bang*, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.

The guy refuses to believe...

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A guy moves out of the city to become a chicken farmer.

He buys a plot of property in the middle of nowhere, and walks to the nearest town to meet the local townspeople and see who's who for chicken farming. A local says, "Go see the farmer that-a-way", pointing towards the opposite side of town from where the man came. "He's a ways out there, but he's...

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Chickens react to Easter Eggs

Some farmer's kids are painting eggs for Easter. One looks up and says, "Hey, how do you think the chickens would act around these?"

"I don't know," says the other. "Let's find out!"

They go into the chicken coop, steal the fresh eggs and replace them with the colorful eggs. The kids s...

Why couldn't the ostrich fit in with the rest of the chickens?

It was ostrich-cized from the chicken coop.

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The cock race

A farmer, noticing his old rooster was getting sicker and sicker, decides to buy a new one. He comes back from the animal shop with his brand new cock and puts it in the chicken coop, then leaves.
The new rooster was visiting the coop, gazing at every chicken there, when the older cock came to...

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The executive is overworked and decide to take some time off and visit his farmer cousins...

The executive is overworked getting stressed and decide to take some time off from work and visit his cousins who live in a farm in the country side.
He calls his cousin who is more than happy to have him over since they haven't seen each other in years.
When the executive gets there he notice...

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An old rooster vs. a cocky cock

My Grandpa used to tell me this one...
So one day in the chicken coop the farmer drops off a new, young, strong rooster from the market. The new cocky rooster tells the old rooster "This is my coop now, and these are my hens!" The old rooster tells him "Fine, if you can beat me in a race around t...

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The farmer's chicken

A farmer returns home late from working all day on his crops, and chicken coops. He loudly walks up his stairs, chicken in his arm.

He slams open his bedroom door and sees a suprised look on his wife's face.

"This is the cow that I fuck when you aren't around!" exclaimed the farmer....

An old farmer was selling his land to a young couple...

As the​y were walking the property, he was telling the couple the history of the farm and how he had used the land.

Farmer: So over in the field, we used to get bountiful harvests of corn every year. The ground is darn near perfect.

Wife: Wow, that's great. We are going to have to try ...

A Boy on the farm

One day in the summertime, a young boy awoke and was very hungry. He groggily stumbled into his parents' room to find his mother stirring but still in bed.

"Mommy I'm hungry"

"Well honey go out to the coop and get some eggs and I'll cook breakfast."

So the boy went out across th...

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Captain Oveur: Say Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No Sir, but I have been in a chicken coop.

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A hillbilly goes to see a doctor.

The doctor tells him he contracted some pretty nasty STDs. And asks him how he might have gotten them.

"I know how I gots em, it's salmonella. From sleeping in the chicken coop."

"Sir. These are all sexually transmitted diseases people have. You can't catch them from poultry, no matt...

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Brewster the Rooster

Saw a post today about a kid with a rooster named Brooster and remembered this old joke.

A farmer decides he needs a new rooster so he can expand his chicken coop, so he buys the most virile one he can find and names him Brewster. Within a day, Brewster has impregnated every hen the farmer ow...

Hero Pig.

So one day a man is driving along in his car, and he gets a flat tire. Now, luckily, he gets the flat right in front of a farm. So he gets out of his car, walks over to the farmhouse, knocks on the door, and the farmer steps out. Now, the man starts talking to him about his flat tire, but he can't h...

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Sex mad rooster!

There is this farmer and one day he goes into the chicken coop and the rooster says to him "dude I am gagging for a fuck" so he takes the rooster into the hen hutch next door and closes the door, moments later there is a huge commotion, feathers fly out the window there is raucous clucking and crowi...