UPJOKE
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- Manuel, is your car automatic?

\- It's manual.

\- oh sorry... Manual, is your car automatic?
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There was once a rich merchant ...

...who owned a slave named Manuel who was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings. This merchant would often have his slave negotiate trade deals, very much to the merchants profit. This was the case because it was a well-known fact of that...

Nobody reads the owner's Manuel.
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Manuel turned his life around.

He used to be sad and lonely.

Now he's lonely and sad.
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"Oh no, the rubber ripped!"

\- Alissa (24 years old) panics, jumps up from bed, and runs into bathroom

\- Manuel (25) needs new tires for his car

\-Lara (27) now has *no* pony-tail

\- Ben (28) holds his covid-mask to his face in the bus

\-David (29) watches his friend during bungee-jump
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Lin-Manuel Miranda has contracted Covid-19

Award-winning composer, lyricist, actor, rapper, and playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda has contracted Covid-19 after receiving a spoiled dose of the vaccine. The nurse initially refused to administer the vaccine, when she discovered that it had accidentally been left out of the refrigeration unit too lo...
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Osama bin Laden dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I've got a couple of folks here who weren't qui...
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Jesus take the wheel

Carlos take the stereo, Manuel get the seats and I'll be the Juan on watch.
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Our Mexican friend is a whiz when it comes to assembling IKEA furniture.

He is our instruction Manuel.
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My work made me go on a training course where I had to lift some Spanish guys over and over

It was a Manuel handling course
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Translated Brazilian Joke - A broken car in the desert

** In Brazil it is common making jokes about our colonizers, the Portuguese. I hope they do the same about us in Portugal, so... **

A Portuguese, a Brazilian and an Argentinian are driving through the desert when their car suddenly breaks.
João, the Brazilian suggests each one takes a pie...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a wedding party in Mexico, the inebriated groom stumbles into the bedroom and finds his bride getting fucked by the best man.he laughs uproariously and calls his his friends to the doorway to have a look. They say to him "Juan, you are drunk!"

"You think I'M drunk?" he yells. .
"Take a look at Manuel. . He's so drunk, he thinks he's ME!"

How do you know if a car is Spanish?

The gearbox is "Manuel".
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What's the difference between England and America?

In England, you drive manual. In America, Manuel drives you.
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Im going to start a handyman business that employs illegals for odd jobs...

I'm going to call it Manuel Labor.
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What car transmission do Mexicans use?

Manuel.
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What do you call a group of Mexicans doing work?

Manuel labour.
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A Portuguese man went shopping for his wife

He left 4pm. It was already 10pm and he had not arrived yet, his wife was already walking around in circles, worried about her husband... 11pm, midnight... 1am, 2am... It was 4am when he finally arrived.

Really mad at him, she wants to know what has happened that took him so long, and he answ...
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A fire rages in a high-rise apartment in Germany...

and a woman and her baby are stuck on a high floor, looking out the window. The firetruck's ladder cannot reach them, so the woman contemplates throwing the baby down to the firemen but both the mother and the firemen are scared of maybe not catching the baby.

Then, Manuel Neuer, Germany's...
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