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Burped Jokes

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2 prostitutes standing on a corner.

2 prostitutes standing on the corner and one of them says "we gonna make a lot of money tonight i can smell the dick in the air"...and the second one replied "sorry i burped"

Two Australian birds burped in my face.

It didn't emus me.

Yo Mama so fat that when she slid into my DMs….

The whole internet burped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two sex workers were on a street corner.

They started discussing business and one of the sex workers said, “Yep, it’s gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other sex worker looked at her and said, “No, no. I just burped.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Prostitutes (Kim & Chloe) walking down the street at night....

Kim says to Chloe, "Wait, someone is coming over." Chloe surprised and asks, "How can you tell? Its so dark out here." Kim explains, "You know I have this gift of smelling dick from a far." Chloe laughs and says, "No silly, I just burped."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I drunkenly staggered into the back of a taxi.

I burped twice and the driver glared at me in his rear view mirror.

"It's £50 if you throw up on my seats," he declared.

Another enormous burp left my mouth.

Thankfully I was able to control my nausea until we stopped outside my home. One final burp filled the interior of the ca...

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Never will you meet a man like Jeff.

Diana told Jeff she hated to be embarrassed. She broke up with every man she embarrassed herself in front of.

After eating at a resturaunt, Diana unexpectedly burped loudly. Before she could even turn red, Jeff burped so loud the dishes rattled.

While sitting in church, Diana farted. B...

What happened to the guy that drank 6 cokes?

He burped 7 up.

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Three college girls went to a sushi restaurant

After having a few drinks, the first girl said "I just ate 3 dozens of fish" after eating a fish egg sushi.

The girl beside her heard it and responded "That would mean I ate three to four chickens" while staring at her remaining Tamagoyaki (Japanese egg roll).

The third girl burped an...

A man came home from work one day.

His wife greeted him "Hello darling, how was your day?"
"No time for that," he replied. "Just get me a cup of tea before it starts!"

Confused, the wife hurried to make a cup of tea.
She gave him the cup. He stretched out on the sofa, and sipped the tea.

"What did you mean, 'befor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two prostitutes were walking down the street...

Two prostitutes were walking down the street and one of them said excitingly, "Oh we're gonna make big money tonight, I can smell the dicks in the air." The other one said, "Oh please, I just burped."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two prostitutes are waiting by the corner

...for a client, on a cool and windy night.
The first one says with a sense of optimism, "I am sure that the wait is gonna end soon. I can sense a dick close by. I can smell it. I can *smell* it".
To which the second one responds with a smile, "No silly.. I just burped"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a prince, who asked a beautiful princess to marry him: “Will you be my wife?”

And she said: “...no.”

And so he lived happily ever after, he went fishing and hunting, met his friends every single day, drunk helluva lot of beer, got wasted, played golf, threw s...

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