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Bragged Jokes

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Three friends bragged about who has more sex...

Friend A said "You all have nothing on me. I go to the bar and bring home a woman every night.

Not only that but I drive a corvette into work everyday and have a 8 inch penis. I have slept with more than 1,000 women"

Friend B said "Oh yeah? Well I'm the top gynecologist docto...

Two Texans are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister."

"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."

I once met a Welshman who bragged about his virility

I asked him how many partners he'd had and he said 'I dunno, everytime I count them I fall asleep'.

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. Being a good shot, no one could argue with him.

But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole, he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal.

He said that he was willing to prove it if they would pay for the drinks a...

Have you heard of the guy who bragged about how he ate his clone?

He's just so full of himself.

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The girl in the bar didn't believe me when i bragged that my cock can really test her gag reflex..

Back in my place, She immediately puked when she smelled it...

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Bragging Doctors

Doc 1 bragged, "I had a patient once who blew out his ACL & MCL. I reconstructed his knee, and 2 years later he completed the Boston marathon."

Doc 2 replied, "That's nothing! I had a patient who was in a head-on collision with a truck. I reconstructed virtually all of his joints and more...

A farmer bragged to his friend about his smart chickens

"How do you know they're smart?"

"They love classical music! That's smarty-pants music right there."

"And how do you know that's what they like?"

"Every morning, I say to the chickens 'What music for today?' and they ask for their favorite composer: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'"

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My friend bragged that he can suck his own dick

I can\`t believe that he\`s so full of himself.

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My dad always bragged to us about his three pound shits

He was always so full of crap.

Al bragged about his home aquarium to a friend.

“I keep it super clean,” he said. “And my fish are always so darn happy.”



“How the heck can you tell your fish are happy?” his friend asked.



“Because,” Al replied, “they are always wagging their tails.”

Three men were sitting together bragging..

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties
The first man had married an Indian girl, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clea...

I once knew a mexican carpenter who specialised in bedroom furniture, and he always bragged about never sleeping with the same girl twice.

Juan Nightstand

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