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Board Games Jokes

I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said...

Sorry. We don't want any Trouble.

My frien Ann and I played a board game

She wanted to play Quiz It, and got a rather interesting trivia question.

"Whom were the Dutch at war with from 1568 to 1648?"

"I don't know. It must have been a neighbour, because that makes sense. I guess it was the French."

"No sorry, it was the Spanish."

"The Spanish...

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Bobby loved board games.

His collection of board games was massive, he had games from the 40's, 50's, 60's up to today. But one day, the neighborhood bully came over and saw Bobby playing and took all of Bobby's player pieces and broke them, all the Monopoly tokens, all the Battleship ships, all the markers for Sorry!, etc....

I was arrested for stealing board games, in my defence...

In life, you should take risks.

I found out my wife has been playing board games with another man.

Turns out she's monopolyamorous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always cheats when we play board games

Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor.

I know a friend who keeps stealing board games...

He’s such a risk taker

(actual true story) I saw some board games in the middle of the road that must have falled off of a car; the Scrabble box had burst open and there were tiles everywhere.

A case of a wreck tile dysfunction.

How Do I Know That Eastern European’s Love Board Games

Because I Have A Czech Mate Who Told Me So.

My fecalpheliac neighbor invited me over to play some board games.

Turns out I've been playing scattegories wrong my whole life.

What do you call a group of racist chickens playing mystery board games?

A Clue Clucks Clan

My wife just accused me of having never achieved anything in life because of my addiction to board games.

I think she must have forgotten that time I won second prize in a beauty contest. . .

The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games

But that's a Risk I'm willing to take

Why don't they play board games in Africa?

Because there's to many cheetahs.

A 2 year old kid gets into a stack of board games.

And before his parents notice, he has them all open and pieces everywhere. The folks clean up the mess but soon realize that there are pieces missing from the Battleship game.
They rush the kid to the hospital, and sure enough, x-rays show he has swallowed some pieces. The doctor finds an aircr...

When it comes to board games about buying real estate...

Hasbro really has the Monopoly.

My lawyer friend loves board games...

...but he has been sad lately, ever since he started that Risk-free 30-day trial.

I donated some old board games to my local daycare.

Hope those kids like Ouija Boards...

What's it called when you beat your eastern European friend at strategy board games.

Czech Mate

I was over at my friend's house, and he had a wall full of board games. One caught my eye that had a full gold box, and inside were well made, metal playing pieces and a polished wooden board. I decided I had to have it, but he might see me if I tried to steal it.

It was a Risk I had to take.

My mate got fired from his job recently.

He was working in a board games shop, he got fired for stealing.

He was taking a lot of risks.

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A daughter takes her old father to a retirement home

A daughter takes her old father in a wheelchair to a retirement home for the first time. The nurse, expecting their arrival, greets them with, "Welcome to the Johnson family retirement home! We think you'll feel quite at home here! Please follow me and I'll show you around." The nurse pushes the...

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There once was a man who loved tractors

I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. His high sch...

A father buys a robot that smacks anyone lying.

The dad brings the robot home. His son comes home and the dad asks "where have you been?" the son says "at school" the robot smacks the son. The son says "ok ok I was at my friends house." The dad asks "what were you doing?". The son says playing "board games". SMACK. the robot smacks the son and he...

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A husband is tired of getting beaten by his wife...

A husband is tired of getting beaten by his wife in everything. He challenged her to basketball, to which she promptly beat him 10 - 2. He challenged her to bowling, again she won 230 to 211. He tried other sports, board games, eating contests, etc. to which she beat him each time.

He was...

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