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Be Cool Jokes

My wife said she wanted to name our child Eevee because she thought it would be cool to name it after a Pokemon

I said 'ditto'

How to be cool:

A) Use the sunglasses emoji.

B)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought being an electrician would be cool.

Getting to hangout with a bunch of strippers and dikes all day long.


But really you're just grabbing and twisting nuts all day.

Living in Switzerland would be cool,

The flag is a big plus.

It would be cool meeting Mark Zuckerberg

He knows everything about you, your interests, etc.

How to be Cool

1. Fill out a petition, file it with your local civil court, and pay the fees.
2. Publish your name change, if required, then attend your hearing.
3. Change your name on your Social Security card, ID card, and all other documentation.
4. If you are getting married, write your full, new name...

Wouldn't it be cool if when Thanos snapped half of the audience dissapeared.

Too bad only DC movies can do that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Young Brothers Wanted to be Cool

I heard this joke at a jazz concert of all places, but it cracked me up:

Two brothers, 9 and 11, realized one day that they had never said a curse word and decided that in order to fit in, they had to upgrade their dirty vocabulary.

The next morning at breakfast, their mother asked the...

What vegetable is trying really hard to be cool, but can't quite manage it?

A radish.

Many people who appear to be cool ,often struggle with feelings of inadequecy . But not me.

I have those feelings without appearing cool at all.

Having depression is like your girl having an only fans.

You might be cool with it but, you stay wondering who’s watching and what they think.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two brothers learn to swear

And they recently learned the F word. So during breakfast, one morning, they figured it would be cool to try it out on their dad. When Dad asked “hey kids, what would you like for breakfast?”, the eldest boy responds “Dad. Give us a bowl of fucking Wheaties!”.

Angered by this response the da...

This is a decent joke but it's relatable at least

Cool quantum physics fact!

When cooled, helium becomes a superfluid! To get to this state, it has to be cooled to a very very cold temperature. About -270 C!



That's almost as cold as my bed every night ;-;

Toby is late to his piano lesson, on a scorching summer day

He quickly sits down and plays his first piece, panting and out of breath.

His teacher says "Mr. Klein, that was terrible! Relax and try again."

Toby takes a deep breath and plays the piece again, but his teacher says, "That is still awful Mr. Klein! Try playing it in another key".
...

So, last semester I met this guy in my business class

He was cool & an international student. His name was Ving and was from China. His English was really good for a second language, better than I could ever be learning a second language. We’d often hang out and I show him the sites and tourist destinations in my city. He's much cooler as well as b...

I’m tired of the Facebook ads telling me I can lose 18 pounds and 8 inches in a month.

Losing 18 pounds would be cool, but I don’t want to be five-foot two.

I didn't get a warranty on my air conditioner,

But it would be cool if I did.

Back when I was in school...

I was a huge metal fan. One day this really pretty girl came over and sat down next to me in the lunch room. I tried so hard to be cool, I'd never tried to be cool so hard in my life!

Then the worst possible thing happened. The teacher started walking over towards me, and when she got there....

One wish

Two Irishmen go on a cruise. Halfway through their vacation the ship wrecks, and the two Irishmen escape on a lifeboat. They floated about for a couple days, hoping to be rescued. On the third day one of the men notices a bottle floating near the lifeboat.
"Wouldn't it be cool if there were a ge...

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