Go Swim Jokes - 19 Hilarious Go Swim Jokes

Why can't two elephants go swimming?

-They only have one pair of trunks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When do Jews go swimming?

When it Israeli hot

Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Why don’t you go swimming in Paris?

You would be insane.

Why did the Egyptian go swimming as soon as his mom passed away?

De Nile is the first stage of grief

Jeff asks his mom if he can go swimming

J: Mooooom can i go swimming, they are opening the 3m jumping tower today.

M: ok

* Jeff comes home with a broken arm *

The next day Jeff asks:
Mooooom can I go swimming, they are opening the 5m jumping tower today.

M: ok, but be careful

* Jeff comes home with...

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One summers day, a group of young girls decide to go swimming...

One summers day, a group of girls decide to go swimming rather than class. Instead of the more popular spots, the friends choose a discreet little pond on the far side of the lake. Sure, its privately owned but they're unlikely to be discovered there.

When the young ladies get to the pond, t...

An American, German and Russian go swimming

An American, German and Russian go swimming, the Russian gets ready to jump in but the American stops him and says

"Careful i put in a chlorine tablet not long ago, you might want to wait"

The Russian responds with "Ill be fine, a little chlorine never hurt anyone"

The German ...

My girlfriend moans every time we go swimming, so I've nicknamed her Jesus.

Because she's always turning water into whine.

I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas.

It's a once in a lifetime experience.

Before I go swimming in the ocean...

I always slather myself in marmite, that way I have a 50% chance of not getting eaten by a shark.

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A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Australian go exploring in the jungle.

Afer some time, they come across a beautiful lake and all decide to go swimming.

Afterwards as they leave the crystal-clear water they are captured by a local tribe and are brought before the chief.

The chief looks at them and says "All three of you were caught swimming in our sacred w...

On an excursion, I decided to go swimming with the Dolphins. Unfortunately, one of them was run over by a boat and killed

I'm really going to miss Dan Marino

An uncle of mine used to throw a space heater into the pool to heat it up before he would go swimming during the colder months

Come to think of it, he only did it once

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A woman decides to kill her self

She has had enough. Everyone is seeing her as a object and wants to have sex with her. So she jumps out of the 5th floor.

A man in the 4th floor sees her falling and catches her.

"What do you think you're doing?", he says, "Life is good. We can go to cinema. We can have some Ice Cream...

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A rabbi and a Catholic priest are walking on a hot summer day

A rabbi and a Catholic priest are walking on a hot summer day. When they pass a lake, the rabbi suggests they go swimming.

Since neither of them has a bathing suit with them, they bathe naked. Just as they come out of the water, a family with children appears.

The rabbi immediately cov...

a gal walks into a bar

A gal walks into a bar and orders the largest beer they have. "Sometimes I just need to drown my troubles," she tells the bartender with a heavy sigh. "But I can't convince my boyfriend to go swimming."

"What do you do in your free time? " "I stalk. "

"Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"

"I know.".

A blond lady gets 3 fishes for her birthday from her brother...

Her brother finds them dead the day later.he asks her :

"Have you fed them?"

She replies:

"Yes! I even followed the rule of not letting them go swimming for 20 minutes after eating!"

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