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Bar Of Soap Jokes

Two priests are in a shower.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three newly inducted nuns from o...

One time I shot a bar of soap.

The bullet went clean through.

Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap?

So just in case they go overboard they can wash up on shore!

Arrrrgh

I wrote a song about squeezing a bar of soap in the shower.

It's dropping soon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two monks are taking a shower together.

Suddenly one of the monks notices that they forgot the soap. So he leaves the shower and runs to his room completely naked to grab some soap.

Once he's got the soap and is walking back he hears three nuns approaching.

Terrified that they might recognize him he freezes and pretends to b...

Today I saved a man drowning in the river

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore

Source: University Daytime Janitor

Marriage is like a bar of soap...

It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it

Why should you never trust what it says on a bar of soap?

They always lye.

Two priests go into the shower

In the shower they notice that there are no soap.

One of them says "Il go to my room and bring 2 soap bars" runs naked to the room, grabs 2 bars of soap and when he was running back...

3 nuns show up, first thing he remembers to do "freezes like a statue"..

Nuns look at the s...

What is the difference between a Nun and the women who dropped a bar of soap while she was in the bath?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Miraculous Statue

One morning two priests are showering and they realize they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap. He checks out the hallway, no one is around so rather than get dressed he decides to make a run for it. He checks the hall before heading back to the showers, all clear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest lived in a church with three nuns...

One evening the priest decided that he wanted to take a bath. He went to the washroom, filled the tub with water, and then undressed before he realized that he forgot to bring his soap.
He wraps himself in a towel around his waist and goes back to his room to retrieve his soap, grabbing an extr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are having a shower at the gym...

...until they realize they forgot to bring along some soap. One of the men steps out to go and get two bars of soap for them to use.

On his way back, he ran into three blonde women passing by. Frozen by the embarrassment of him walking around naked, he made like a statue and stood still.
<...

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, “You must be single.” She responds, “You can tell that by what I bought?” The cashier says, “No, you’re ugly.”

How do you stop Post Malone stealing your weed?

Hide it under a bar of soap

Two priests are showering

Two priests are showering when one says to the other “Damn I’m out of soap”

The other priest says “I’ll go to my office and get some”.

So the priest picks up two bars of soap from his office, but on his way back he hears the voices of two nuns down the hall.

The priest, stark ...

A monk, 3 nuns and liquid soap (long)

So 2 monks were going to have a shower and as they got in, they realised that they didn't have any soap so one of them went up to his room as he had some there. As he was leaving, he saw 3 nuns in the hallway so posed as a statue to wait for them to go past.

When they reached him, the first n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Singel at the supermarket

A woman in her mid-30s goes to the supermarket. She buys a bar of soap, a bottle of milk, a toothbrush, a TV-dinner, a chocolate bar and a bottle of shampoo.
She heads over to the register, where the clerk starts beeping her stuff. Halfway through he looks up and say "You're single, aren't you?"...

Clean joke

If you shove a bar of soap up your ass, you can fart bubbles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
===========...

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