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Aspca Jokes

Me: Hello, ASPCA? There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan

ASPCA: We don't believe you

Me: Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret

I reported my great grandfather to the ASPCA!

He told me that during his years as a pilot in WWII, he was involved in what he called "dogfighting". How cruel can you be?!

I called the ASPCA hotline to tell them I'd just found six Badgers in a suitcase by the side of the road

"Are they moving?" asked the operator

"Not sure" I replied "But that would explain the suitcase"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When i have sex it's a race to see who comes first

... me or the aspca

In the year 2013, the Lord appeared unto Noah, who was now living in America, and said:

"Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing, along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I bring about unending rain for 4...

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