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Gettysburg Jokes

Gettysburg address

1201 Wainwright Avenue

What's the Gettysburg address?

39°49'03.3" N 77°13'54.7" W

I'm not putting any Halloween or Christmas stuff in my yard this year.

I'm just going to stand on my back porch reciting the Gettysburg address. That will be my deck oration.

Why did Lincoln give the Gettysburg Address?

Because the Gettysburg was naked

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.

When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, ...

A soldier cried out on the battlefield...

... after being shot at the Battle of Gettysburg. A lieutenant nearby saw him fall to the ground, and asked what was wrong. "They got me in the leg!" he said.

The lieutenant was a tall, athletic man. He briskly picked up the soldier, holding on to his legs as he tossed the torso over his sho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In an 3rd grade American class room...

The teacher is discussing U.S. presidents.

"Who gave the Gettysburg Address?" she asked the class.

Immediately a hand shot up belonging to a female Japanese foreign exchange student.

"Yes?" the teacher asked.

"Abraham Lincoln! 1863!" replied the girl proudly.

"That...

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