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Asgard Jokes

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Which is the number 1 cereal brand in Asgard?

Bifrosties

*holy shit almost crapped my pants with excitement when I came up with this. GF not as excited, I'm counting on you guys

What does the hero of Asgard have in common with most insects?

A Thor axe.

What do you call the god from Asgard that is always sneaky?

Low-key

Thor and his pals were bored in Asgard one evening

So they came up with the idea to travel to Earth and go to a nightclub. He bumps into a very attractive girl at the bar and without saying a word, they are in love with each other and start making out. They leave immediately and go back to the girl's place. The passion is intense and they make love ...

Thor was bored with life on Asgard and one day decided travel to earth to entertain himself.

Whilst here he happened upon a beautiful maiden and the pair hooked up that evening and made love all night, with Thor slipping out in the early hours.

Back in Asgard Thor felt bad for the fair lady about slipping away never too be seen again and thought he at least owed it to her to explain...

What is the number 2 cereal on Asgard?

Loki Charms

What're the most popular cookies in Asgard?

Thoreos.

Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.

It's a Thor subject for them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thor came down to Earth from Asgard

Thor goes to a singles bar to have a drink, and sees a beautiful girl he'd like to make love to. He goes over to buy her a drink, and she has a slight speech impediment, but Thor doesn't care because she is so beautiful and sexy.

They leave the bar, and go to her apartment, and proceed to hav...

What did Thor wear in the prison shower?

An Asgard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where are homophobes from?

Asgard

Why America failed to save the world from Coronavirus



Thor is in Asgard

Ironman died

Captain is now old

Hulk doesn't have much power. Rest of the Avengers are suffering from Corona and China ate Spiderman and Batman.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Thor's butt hurt when he fell down?

He didn't have his Asgard.

Why was the son of Odin Thor?

He sat down without his asgard

Thor the God of Thunder

So Thor, the God of Thunder, is sitting on his cloud on Asgard when he suddenly wants to visit the humans. He jumps on his magical flying horse and rides down to them. When he gets there he proclaims, "I AM THOR!" to which his horse replies, "Well, that's because you forgot your thaddle thilly."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thor meets a woman with a lisp

Thor decides he hasn't been to Earth in quite some time and decides to go down and let humanity know he still exists. So he flies down and lands on a woman's balcony. After entering her apartment he grabs her, throws her on the bed and fucks the shit out of her.

A few days later, in Asgard, h...

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