What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

Why couldn't the hobbits fly the Eagles to Mordor?

Because they were on tour and only got back at the end.

My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!".

Always Tolkien in her sleep...

Who makes the music in Mordor?

The orchestra.

What's the most popular top-level domain in Mordor?

.orc

I walked into a disco, and there were Orcs, Trolls, and Nazgûl doing their best moves.

It was Mordor on the dance floor.

I wouldn't want to take the ring to Mordor.

But Elijah Wood.

How do Orcs of Mordor preserve their meat?

They use Sauron wrap

Damn. My wife just found out that after I got my Bachelor degree at the University of Barad-dûr, I went back and got my Masters there...

I've been found guilty of second-degree Mordor.

Where did Sauron go to take his driver's test?

The Department of Mordor Vehicles

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

A new fighting game based off of the works of Tolkien came out

It’s called Mordor Kombat.

I was at a Lord Of The Rings themed disco last night.

It was Mordor on the dance-floor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know Tolkien typed the entire Lord of the Rings manuscript with only two fingers.

It must have been bloody Mordor.

Fellowship of the ring

As the fellowship of the ring was being formed Bilbo had been eavisdropping outside of the meeting, not being able to help his curiosity.
He had heard young Frodo take upon himself the burden of the ring, Sam, Merry and Pippin joining him on the foolish quest. Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir ...

Yo mama so dumb...

...she argues endlessly that Frodo could have just ridden a giant eagle into Mordor and dropped the Ring into Mount Doom from the air, even though all the characters in the book say over and over again that Sauron can SEE EVERYWHERE and that stealth was their only hope of getting anywhere with the R...

What was the only suggestion the orc had for the contractor who built his house?

Mordor

How does Sauron motivate his army?

With Mordor-vation!

When constructing the Black Gate...

Minion: "Is this too big? Do we need less door?"

Sauron: "No, Mordor."

Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.

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