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Apple Watch Jokes

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons.

One soldier says with tears in his eyes “but but my daughter made it for me”.

I asked my Apple Watch "what's the time?"

It said "an 80s funk band."

Navy Seal and an Apple Watch

A Navy Seal walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "just got this state-of-the-art ...

I heard that Bruno Mars helped design the Apple Watch

Dont believe me? Just watch

How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

Don't worry, they will tell you.

There's iPod, iMac, iPhone...

and Apple watch, because iWatch sounds way too creepy.

Apple Watch now comes with a new app...

It estimates how long you will have to wait in line for the Apple Watch 2.0.

How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally got an Apple Watch fitness tracker...

...I masturbated for a mile and a half last night!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just masturbated while wearing my new Apple Watch.

Apparently I burned as many calories as if I walked 8 steps.

I love my new Apple Watch so much I only take it off when I shower

Which means I'm only able to charge it when I shower.

The battery has been dead for 3 weeks now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve been trying to exercise more lately...

Today, my Apple Watch told me I masturbated three miles!

For her birthday, i took my girlfriend to an orchard we stood there looking at the trees for about an hour.

Not the apple watch she wanted apparently...

Technology.( Based on true events)

My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip.

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