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Accents Jokes

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Three Guys With Heavy Brooklyn Accents Get Invited To A Costume Party.

The theme for this party is "Dress Like an Emotion." The first guy is wearing a pear costume. The second guy is wearing a dress. And the third guy is butt-naked except for a custard pie around his pecker.

They ring the doorbell. The host opens the door, sizes them up, and says "You guys aren'...

Two ladies in a pub in attract the attention of a fellow down the bar with their accents.

Two ladies in a pub in attract the attention of a fellow down the bar with their accents.

"Ah, tourists eh? Do you girls want to hear a joke about Scotland?"

"It's Wales actually."

"Alright. Do you whales want to hear a joke about Scotland?"

A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents.

A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents. He approaches them and says, "By any chance, are you two ladies from Ireland?" "It's Wales, you idiot," one snaps back at him. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Ireland?

Who runs Mexican Amazon?

Jeff Pesos

It's a silly joke but I thought of it on my own today! I found a 200 peso bill on the ground today and I was saying pesos in different accents out loud with a coworker when the joke popped into my head. I don't think I've heard it anywhere before. After I got home and searched it h...

Interesting accents!

3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"

One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"

The bartender ...

An american fellow visiting at an English bar notices two attractive women with thick Irish accents sitting at the booth next to him....

out of curiousity, He approaches them and asks "Excuse me, are you two ladies from England?
One of the women gets mad and yellls "ITS WALES, YOU IDIOT!!!"

So after a Deep shock.... the gentleman responds "Excuse Me, are you two Whales from England"?

A man new to Britain came upon two somewhat large ladies chatting. Fascinated by their accents he asked them "Are you ladies from England?" They replied "Wales." The man then said . . .

I'm sorry. Are you Whales from England?"

My dad’s favourite joke (he always does this with the accents)

An Englishman in Sweden goes to the chemist:

Englishman - "I’d like to buy deodorant please" Swedish chemist - "Ball or aerosol?"
Englishman - “No, armpits"

A man driving a Kia stops at a traffic light next to a Rolls-Royce.

The Kia driver rolls down his window and calls out to the Rolls-Royce driver, "Hey, pal, that's an impressive car. Does your Rolls have Wi-Fi? My Kia does!"
The Rolls-Royce driver replies, "Yes, it has Wi-Fi."
The Kia driver continues, "Nice! And do you have a fridge in there? I have a fridge ...

So I'm in a bar and two large women with accents walk in and sit down.

I look over to them and say: "hey ladies, nice accents. Are you from Scotland?"

One of the ladies yells: "it's Wales, you idiot!!"

So I said: "Ok, that's cool. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

I don't remember much else.

For my next magic trick ill teach you a Irish accent

Say it with me: Ari Po-er an tha cersed chil'

How do you teach an American an Irish accent

Say the following words:

Whale.

Oil.

Beef.

Hooked.

One more time. . .

Now say them all together fast.

(Heard on NPR yesterday)

A man is drunk in a bar,

Across the bar he sees three heavy set women, speaking with Scottish sounding accents. He makes his way to the women and asks; "Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?" The first women gets mad and yells "It's Wales, you ass! Wales!" The man the replies. "I'm sorry, are you three whales from Scotla...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in a pub...

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Must be told in a horrible, thick Italian accent

So I heard this joke a couple of years ago, I think it's much older than that though. Read it out loud in a very bad, thick Italian accent.

So, Vincenzo, my cousin in America invites me to stay with him, so I say, 'Okay, I'va never been to America, I'ma come over.

I get offa da plane ...

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