What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One weighs 3.500 pounds, the other is a little lighter.

Why do soldiers carry Zippos instead of matches?

Because they are lighter.

A worker at the Zippo factory is showing their boss how the new machine works.

Suddenly, the lights go out. Wanting to finish the demonstration quickly, they try to continue with only the emergency lighting.

"The lights are too dim, I can't see what you're doing" the boss complains.

"I have an idea", says the worker. "Let's turn the machine on. "

The bos...

First time I held a Zippo I was surprised by how heavy it was

I figured it would be lighter

I lost my zippo tonight.

I felt a little lighter when it fell out of my pocket

What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'?

One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter. - [*Masai Graham*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

Nobody ever wants to borrow my hippo :-(

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

Present for my dad

I've bought my dad a Zippo lighter for Christmas.

I want it to be a surprise when he comes back with the cigarettes he went out to buy ten years ago.

eBay is great for finding rare items, but there is a lot of bad search results that come with it

For example, I did a search for "Vintage Zippo Lighters" and I got 10,000 matches.

A blonde cuts off a truck driver on the highway...

the truck driver has bad road rage and forces the blonde to pull over. He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. The truck driver draws a circle on the pavement and tells the blonde stay there. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. He looks back at the blonde and she's smi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American, Japanese and Indonesian in China

There's an American, Japanese and Indonesian on a crew boat in China. The American lights up a cigarette with his zippo, and then throws the zippp into the sea. The Indonesian says "why you throw away your zippo? " the American replies "in America we have many zippos, I can get another one no probl...

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