UPJOKE
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Null Jokes

Why couldn’t the null morpheme call its mother?

Because it didn’t have a phone!

Why was the null column condemned by the church?

Because it didn't have any values.

A software tester walks into a bar.

He orders a beer, -1 beers, 50 beers, nuhriuh beers, NULL beers. The barman happily fulfils the orders he can, and declines the ones he can't.

A software user walks into the same bar, and asks the barman where the toilets are. The barman explodes, the bar burns to the ground, and the building...

Why does no one date the null hypothesis?

Because she's a H0.

On date nights, I lean over to my girlfriend, and in a sugary voice I say: “null, nada, nix, naught, zilch, zero”

Because she likes it when I whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

A QA tester walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Then he orders 0 beers.

Then he orders 999999999999 beers.

Then he orders a lizard.

Then he orders -1 beers.

Then he orders NULL beers

Then he orders asnwikfjsdf.

I made a java program to tell me my purpose.

It keeps saying "Null point exception", so it works great.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whilst trimming my neighbours hedge I was stung on the hand by a wasp. She told me that putting it in cider would soothe the pain.

Well I did that and not only did it do nothing to null the pain, I also now have a court hearing for sexual misconduct!

Two strings walk into a bar...

...the bartender says, "What'll it be?". The first string says, "I'll have a gin and tonic#MV*()>SDk+!^ &@P&]JEASegmentation Fault".

The second string says, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

A QA engineer walks into a bar, and orders a beer.

Then he orders 0 beers.

Then he orders 999999999999 beers.

Then he orders an aardvark.

Then he orders nothing.

Then he orders -1 beers.

Then he orders NULL beers.

Then he orders asnwikfjsdf.

Then he orders a "><script>give_me_your_credit_card...

A man sells his soul to the devil

He’s down on his luck and needs money in the worst way. The devil appears to him and says I can give you all the money you need, just sell me your soul and your money problems will be gone. The devil even promised him not to take his soul for another ten years.

The man decides to make the dea...

A man his talking to his friend

A man and his friend are in a coffee shop talking about just whatever when his friend looked up at him said, "If I'm ever hanged at the gallows I hope they put a horse in front of me."

The man then , obviously confused, asks "Why?"

Then after a small null in the conversation his looks ...

I'm trying to teach my cat Java programming...

But he keeps complaining about a `NullLaserPointerException`.

A pair of strings walk into the bar

A pair of strings walk into the bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"

The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdkCjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%U r89nvy owmc63Dz x.xvcu"

"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitc...

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