Your Yard Jokes

Nemow

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a... read more

One afternoon, two friends who lived in the same town were chatting.
“**I’ve just bought a pig**,” said the first.
“You are not kidding but where will you keep it?” “Your yard’s much too small for a pig!” said the second.
“**I am going to keep it under my bed**,” replied his friend. ... read more

A couple called in a contractor to do some updates to their house and landscape. They all walk in to the bedroom and they tell him they were thinking about painting it blue because there's a baby boy on the way. He walks to the window and yells "Green side up!" The couple look at one another a bit c... read more

There's a man named Juan. He's a good man, he doesn't beat his wife, doesn't beat his kids, doesn't beat the armadillo in his yard, he's kind to his neighbours and he takes care of his mother. He goes to work one day and his boss says, "Juan, I know that you're a good man, you don't beat your wife,... read more

"Hey Carm," says Dave "we should do something with your yard. Maybe a pool or something."

Carmelo glanced over grinning.

"Way ahead of you man. I've already hired a company to spruce the place up. Actually, I have a sub-contractor coming over tomorrow for the deck."

... read more

You wake up in the morning to find a pen full of Germans in your yard!

Can I just ask everyone for a big favor? Those of you who are planning to place Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, can you please avoid anything that is red or blue and flashing? Every time I drive by, I think it's the police and have a panic attack. I have to take my foot off the accelerat... read more