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Three Foot Jokes

An Australian was in London admiring suits displayed in a shop window...

To nobody in particular he said, "Ahh, there's the one I'd get!"

A split second later, a three foot tall cyclops ran up and punched him in the nuts.

Ruler

I bought a three foot ruler yesterday at a yard sale

John is playing golf with the vicar

He misses a three foot putt, and says "damn, missed the buggar."

The vicar warns him "keep talking like that and God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning."

John then misses a two foot putt, and repeats "damn, missed the buggar."

Sure enough, God opens th...

The end to The Breakfast Club joke: "A Naked lady walks into a bar..."

Found it [here](http://www.yelp.com/topic/garden-city-finished-benders-joke-in-the-breakfast-club)

>A naked lady walks into a bar carrying a poodle in one hand and a three foot salami in the other...
>
>Bartender says "well I guess you won't be needing a drink"...
>
&g...

What do you call...

What do you call a man in a three foot deep hole?

Doug.

What do you call a man in a one foot deep hole?

Douglas ( say it out loud)

There’s a ton more..... fire away.

(Must be the dad in me but I love these types of jokes)

A dwarf walks up to a lady and says...

I’m three foot and 10 inches...

And those are two different measurements!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad went to play golf...

On a sunny Saturday afternoon and was randomly paired up with a priest. On the first hole, dad missed a three foot putt for par and said to himself "G*d damn it, I missed!"

The priest said to him "My son, please do not take the lord's name in vain."

On the second hole, my dad missed a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smithers' Story

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said,

"You mu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Confession time...

A man steps into a confessional.

Priest- "What is your sin, my son?"

Man- "Father, I'm afraid I took The Lord's name in vain today."

"I see. This is a grave sin, as you know, but perhaps there were circumstances leading to this I need to better understand."

"Well, Fath...
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