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Wi Jokes

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Edit: Alright I've got it lol, TIL churches have wi-fi

Edit 2: ok guys really I get it, churches have wif-fi, no need for every redditor to tell me, 200 is enough

Edit 3: I'm beginning to realise these edit...

Why don't churches have WiFi?

They don't wanna compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Set your WiFi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone asks, tell them it's 12345678

Why is free Wi-Fi never seen in churches?

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" -George S. Patton

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar; you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say." -George R. R. Martin

My wife is like my Wi-Fi.

Both are unstable.

Me: What’s the WiFi password?

**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first

**Me:** Okay, I’ll have a coke.

**Bartender:** Is Pepsi okay?

**Me:** Sure, how much is that?

**Bartender:** $3.

**Me:** There you go. So what’s the WiFi password?

**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first. No ...

Funny and Witty WiFi names?

I think the best I've come across are;

1. Drop it like it's hotspot

2. The Promised LAN

3. Wu Tang LAN

4. Chance the Router

5. Winternet is coming

6. A LAN time ago

7. I believe Wi can Fi

8. Vladamir Routin

9. That's what she SSID
...

Men are like Bluetooth, Women are like WiFi...

Men are like Bluetooth: he's connected when you're nearby, but searches for other devices while you're away..

Women are like WiFi: she can see all available networks, but will only connect to the strongest one.

A guy driving a Kia.

A guy driving a Kia pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce...

The driver of the Kia rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got Wi-Fi in your Rolls? I’ve got Wi-Fi in my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls looks over and says s...

WiFi password is Romeamsterdamparis all one word

Any capitals?

Yeah, three.

A man walks into a pub and asks the bar tender for the WiFi password.

The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first"
So the man buys a Coke.
"Ok now what's the WiFi password?"
The bar tender replies "you have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces"

A man needs WiFi at the local pub.

A man goes into a local pub and has poor cell signal.

He asks for the WiFi password.

The bartender replies: “You need to buy a drink first.”

The man says fine and orders a Coke, which costs him $3. He then asks again, “what’s the WiFi password?”

The bartender answers: “Y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I named my WiFi network after my wife.

They’re both super temperamental, and seem to have an issue with me streaming porn to the bedroom.

Would an Australian WiFi network...

...be a LAN down under?

I've got a high tech toilet that's connected to the Wi-Fi and I just received a notification.

There was an unexpected log in...

"Can I use your WiFi?"

An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.

When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your WiFi?".

The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."

What's the Russian word for no Wi-Fi?

Interniet

A CEO needed Wi-Fi...

The CEO walks in on the 134th floor and quickly asked: “Does anyone have the Wi-Fi password?”

One of the employees say “Yes.”

Then the CEO then says, “Never mind, I’ve just connected to a plane’s wi-fi.”

Two days ago, I named my WiFi to "Hack it if you can"

Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted"

My wife bought a bra with Wi-Fi.

... Or so I thought until she explained what wireless means.

I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password

"Have some respect for the dead!" he said

I replied "Is that all lower case?"

Of course Ghosts have WiFi by now

Just think about how many dead routers there are out there!

I visited my old friend in Newcastle over the weekend and asked him if I could use his WiFi.

"Sure," he said, "she's upstairs and the password is 'new_shoes'."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which WiFi network do redditors use?

Virgin media

X Æ A-12 : What's the WiFi password?

Elon : Tom

Tell my WiFi

love her.

Why should u buy a WiFi enabled espresso machine?

To get the latest Java updates

Almost everybody I know, has a secured WiFi but a blank WiFi password.

whenever I click 'Show Password' nothing shows up.

The WiFi is broken

The WiFi at home has been broken all weekend so I had to talk to the wife...

To my surprise, I learnt that she no longer works at Woolworths.

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...

...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

Why does Doctor Strange never have WiFi issues?

He uses æthernet

Every date I’ve ever had has been like my WiFi signal.

No Connection.

If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes, she will be

No need to remind her every 15 minutes about it

The WiFi was down in the morning.

Discovered that the bathroom had 42 tiles.

While visiting a distant relative I hadn't visited in years, I asked my mom's cousin George for his Wi-Fi password. He said, "Start with an uppercase S, then 123."

As soon as George had left to do an errand, I tried to log onto his Wi-Fi. But every time I typed S123, it wouldn't work. After two hours of failure, George came back.

I told him, "I used the password you told me to use, but it never worked! can you log onto the Wi-Fi for me?" George typed th...

WiFi on the plane

Hello miss flight attendant, the elderly man said

I am sorry to bother you, but the internet is dead

Sir, don't you worry, the internet's not slain

You have to understand, there's no WiFi on a plane

'Yes 'mam, I know my stuff, he angrily yelled aloud

Being high up ...

I have two conditions in my will...

1) I want my remains spread around Disney World

2) I do not want to be cremated

A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him and says, "Welcome to hell, Dave. First, the Wi-fi password is..."

Dave says, "Wait, you guys have wi-fi?"

Satan replies, "Of course we do."

"That's certainly not bad at all" says Dave.

Satan continues, "So, as I was saying, the wi-fi password is the numb...

What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?

123pho5

Me : "What's the WiFi password?"

Waiter : "Smile first."

Me : *smile*

Waiter : "......Smile first. No space."





**I found this on Twitter but the original joke isn't in English.

If Kenny Loggins forgets his WiFi password...

Ken he log in?

Love is like Wi-Fi

You can’t see it, but you'll know when you lose it.

How do you take a WiFi back home?

You have to router

WiFi

Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was.

Never Text an Apology

THE ORIGINAL TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a
confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few
months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to
your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t l...

I wish my ex was a WiFi network

so I could forget her.

Why do the Native Americans hate when white people ask to use their WiFi?

They're taking all their LAN!

What’s the worst place to ask for the plane’s WiFi password?

In your office.

The Wi-Fi at my parents' house is really slow, so I hope this sends...

but I just wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas for tomorrow!

If you replace your morning coffee with green tea .....

You can lose up to 87% of what little joy you have left in your life.

You know what Forest Gumps WiFi password is?

1Forest1

Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age

Emperor Ping

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

A new bar opened up down the road that offered free Wi-Fi. I asked the bar keeper for the password and he said "two drink minimum"

So I quickly downed 2 shots and again asked for the password. He said "twodrinkminimum: all one word"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian man goes to rent a car, and the clerk sees the man's name is Herschel Leibowitz

The clerk asks him how an Asian man like himself got the name Herschel Leibowitz. He responds in a heavy accent "When I was going through immigration, we were in a line in the area where we give our names. The name of the man in front of me was Herschel Leibowitz. When they call for me to ask me ...

A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vets

He says: “I’ve come to talk wi’ thee about me cat.”

The vet replies: “is it a tom?”

The Yorkshireman says: “no, I’ve brought him here wi’ me.”

A russian has no Wi-Fi nearby. We could say that...

He doesn't have InterNYET.

I suggested to my WiFi that it should main Reinhardt on Overwatch

It's great at tanking during pivotal moments.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Best read in an Irish accent) So an old man is on his porch..

A young lad is walking up the hill with a roll of chicken wire rolled up under his arm. "What ya doin wi' the chicken wire, laddie?" asks the man. "Oh sir, I'm gonna catch me some chickens!" replies the boy. The man says, "you fool, you don't catch chickens with chicken wire!" An hour later, though,...

What is it called when you are on the edge of WiFi signal range?

Router Limits!

If trees produced wifi we'd be planting them everywhere...

... too bad they only produce oxygen.

A priest is offering his condolences to a recently widowed man at his wife's funeral...

Priest :"I'm very sorry for your loss. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Widower: "Can you give me the WiFi password for this place?"

Priest: "You realise we're about to bury your wife?"

Widower: "is that all lower case?"

A mother has three sons who have unusual names.

After getting picked on at school for being called Feather, the oldest son approaches his mother one day and asks,
"Mum, why is my name feather?"
Mum replies. "That's because when we left the hospital, a feather landed on your head."

A few years later, the second son approaches his mot...

The salesman

A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j- joooob-b."

"I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment ," said the owner.

"I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k- kkkid...

“Isn’t all contemporary fiction just a retelling of older stories, arranged in such a way as to appeal to the broadest population, given their familiarity with technological advancements that would seem magical to authors of earlier ages….

…” I asked the chicken as we both stood on the sidewalk. It suddenly and without comment walked across the road.

“Hey,” I called after the chicken, “why’d you do that?!”

Wifi password

I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer to the hotel lounge to do some work. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What’s the WiFi password?"

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I’ll have a beer.

Bartender: We have Molso...

I needed a new washer and dryer

So the guy at the appliance store sold me those units that have Wi-Fi. I’ve bern walking around with damp underwear for two weeks because I can’t remember my password.

(Credit: Jay Leno)

A guy walks into a bar to get some work done.

Guy says to the bartender “hey, can I get the WiFi password?” Bartender says “you have to buy a drink first”. Guy grunts and says “fine, let me get a jack and coke”. Bartender comes over and gives the man his drink. Guys say “now can I have the WiFi password?” Bartender nods and say “you have to b...

ah auto correct!

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

block quote
"I am so sorry Bob. I'm riddled with guilt and I have to confess.”

I have been tapping your wife for many weeks now.

I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.

I hope yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was on a golf course near Doonbeg Ireland and was about to dip his hand in a lake to take a drink of water when the groundskeeper yelled ...

“Oy! - Dinna peut ya haand en a loch! It’s feeeled wi coo piss n coo shite!”

“Hey” - said the man. "I just bought this golf course and we’re going to have the best groundskeepers. The best. I've been talking about it for a long time, along with many other subjects, frankly. What you just said...

A router and a modem got married.....

They where pronounced husbandwith and WiFi

The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy...

So I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable Wi-Fi!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at this funeral and after we went to house for the wake and I was a bit bored so I went up to the widow and I asked her "Can I have the wi-fi code?" She replied "Don't you think that's inappropriate you, short fat bald wanker".....

I said "Is that all in lowercase ?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scotsman goes into a brothel

in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a nice-looking prostitute.

He asks her, 'How much dae ye charge for an hour?' '€100,' she replies.

So he asks, 'Okay, dae ye dae it Scottish style?' She says 'No!'

He then says 'I'll gie you €200 to dae it Scottish style'. She didn't...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Astronomers detected radio signals from the same source 1.5 billion light years away.

And I can't get the fucking WiFi connection in my room

I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting.

I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located.

What is one charity that has a higher death rate than PETA?

Make a wish foundation

I’m giving out my personal credit card info to anyone that wants it

It’s several shades of blue, very thin, about 3” long and 2” tall with these little raised numbers and letters on it, it has what looks like a SIM card on one end, a WiFi symbol looking thingy on the front, it has a bunch of tiny words and some additional numbers on the back with a solid black secti...

Nine Words

Once upon a time, long before any type of writing or sign language there lived an attractive young prince.

This prince, through no fault of his own, was cursed by a witch such that he was only allowed to say one word per year.

Fortunately, however, he WAS allowed to save up his words.<...

Neighbour pased away last week. My friend and I went to a gathering held by the family of the deceased lady, to share our condolences. After a while standing, my friend whispers "what is the WiFi password?". I give her a severe look: "Have some respect, we're at a funeral!!!"

"With no spaces?"

A student writes her parent's, "Deare$t Mom and Dad,

college i$ going well. I am making many friend$ and learning lot$. But $omething i$ mi$$ing, I ju$t wi$h I knew what it wa$. Anyway$, be$t wi$hes and I'll talk to you again $oon.

Her parents respond,

Dearest Daughter,
NOthing makes us happier than kNOwing you're doing well. We NOtic...

A man walks into a bar...

Man: Hello, can I have the wi-fi password please?

Bartender: only if you drink 1l of whiskey.

Man: 1 liter of Whiskey? Damn. That's a lot. Deal, give me 1 liter of Whiskey.

\*the bartender gives the whiskey to the sir\*

Man: Done, can I have wi-fi password now?

Bar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman finds a lamp and of course it contains a genie...

... which offers to give her only one wish as he is very much tired from his 10.000 years of imprisonment.

,,I want a million dollars!'' she screams excited.

The Genie nods. ,,It shall be as you wi-''

,,No!'' interrupts the woman. ,,Such a wish is selfish and petty. No, what I w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife bought one of those wireless bras, she said it's much better than her old wired ones

But she's full of shit cause i can't get the bloody thing to connect to the WiFi.

Oldie but goodie: How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

Wi jammin

In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine...

Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came on just as I was filling the can

My wife complained that I never finish anything

So I replied wi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working the club circuit

A comedian is working his way up the ranks in the industry. He travels around working small venues for minimal pay, hoping to get noticed and hit it big.

On a seemingly regular Wednesday night at the Laughter House in Bloomington, WI he sets up for a gig that might end up changing his life....

Uh-oh. I think the object of my affections suspects something.

She's changed her WiFi name to "HeyYouInTheTreeIveCalledThePolice".

I was wondering why my face mask crashed...

Turns out it's one of those WiN95 masks.

I was at a funeral service the other day and didn't have any cell service...

So, I marched down the aisle to the front and gave the priest a friendly ol' pat on the shoulder. "Hey buddy, do you by any chance know the Wi-Fi password about these parts?"

The priest, bewildered, gave me a look of disgust and hissed, "show some respect."

"All lowercase?" I asked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My neighbours had very loud sex, night after night...

I decided to rename my Wi-Fi into "I can hear you having sex".
Next night they were going on it as loud as before.
So, I checked if my network really was transmitting right.
Then I discovered my neighbours had renamed their Wi-Fi as well.
Now their LAN was called "cannot hear you...

A Yorkshireman walks in to a vet and says "Ay up, can tha tek a look at our cat? It's not bin it's sen lately."

A Yorkshireman walks in to a vet and says "Ay up, can tha tek a look at our cat? It's not bin it's sen lately." 'Sure.' says the vet. 'First things first, Is it a Tom?' "Nah" he replies "I've got it 'ere wi me"

What do you call an online encyclopedia for DJs?

A wiki-wiki-wi-wi-wi-kipedia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During lunch break on a high rise construction site....

...Dave says, "Hey Daryl tell the crew how you made a fast $50 this morning!"

"It was weird!", says Daryl. "I was on the 23rd floor and bumped a brick off the edge, I immediately yelled out "FALLING BRICK!!!. There was a lady standing at the bus stop below, she heard me, stepped to the side a...

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