What’s the Wi-Fi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

OK, I’ll have a Coke.

Bartender: Three dollars.

There you go. So what’s the Wi‑Fi password?

Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.” No spaces, all lowercase.

A man walks into a pub and asks the bar tender for the WiFi password.

The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first"
So the man buys a Coke.
"Ok now what's the WiFi password?"
The bar tender replies "you have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces"

If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it’s Dr. Whom.

While visiting a distant relative I hadn't visited in years, I asked my mom's cousin George for his Wi-Fi password. He said, "Start with an uppercase S, then 123."

As soon as George had left to do an errand, I tried to log onto his Wi-Fi. But every time I typed S123, it wouldn't work. After two hours of failure, George came back.

I told him, "I used the password you told me to use, but it never worked! can you log onto the Wi-Fi for me?" George typed th...

Someone in the funeral asks for the Wi-Fi password

"You should respect the dead"

"All together and lower case?"

A CEO needed Wi-Fi...

The CEO walks in on the 134th floor and quickly asked: “Does anyone have the Wi-Fi password?”

One of the employees say “Yes.”

Then the CEO then says, “Never mind, I’ve just connected to a plane’s wi-fi.”

I’m giving out my personal credit card info to anyone that wants it

It’s several shades of blue, very thin, about 3” long and 2” tall with these little raised numbers and letters on it, it has what looks like a SIM card on one end, a WiFi symbol looking thingy on the front, it has a bunch of tiny words and some additional numbers on the back with a solid black secti...

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Edit: Alright I've got it lol, TIL churches have wi-fi

Edit 2: ok guys really I get it, churches have wif-fi, no need for every redditor to tell me, 200 is enough

Edit 3: I'm beginning to realise these edit...

Here are the results of Sci-Fi Football.

R2D: 2 and C3P: Nill

What do you call the fear of giants?

FeeFiPhobia

How come churches don't have Wi-Fi?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

I was listening to music, and it suddenly stopped.

Spotty-Fi.

What would a 19th century Russian sci-fi be called?

Tsar Wars.

What's a pirates favorite sci-fi book?

Aye, Robot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at this funeral and after we went to house for the wake and I was a bit bored so I went up to the widow and I asked her "Can I have the wi-fi code?" She replied "Don't you think that's inappropriate you, short fat bald wanker".....

I said "Is that all in lowercase ?"

Why is free Wi-Fi never seen in churches?

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" -George S. Patton

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar; you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say." -George R. R. Martin

What do two audiophiles do when they celebrate?

They Hi-Fi

The newest sci-fi movie on Netflix is about a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life.

Alien versus Redditor.

If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective...

I'd say it's Doctor Whom.

^*Edit: ^As ^a ^few ^have ^astutely ^pointed ^out, ^the ^character's ^name ^is ^just ^"The ^Doctor"; ^I ^should ^have ^said ^"the ^greatest ^sci ^fi ^show ^is ^Doctor ^Who" ^instead ^of ^"greatest ^hero ^in ^sci ^fi". ^Thankfully ^the ^dumb ^joke ^still ^works ^in ^t...

-Do you have the wi-fi password?

- This is a funeral.
- In capital letters?

A new bar opened up down the road that offered free Wi-Fi. I asked the bar keeper for the password and he said "two drink minimum"

So I quickly downed 2 shots and again asked for the password. He said "twodrinkminimum: all one word"

I always wanted to get into sci-fi movies about time travel...

...but my interest in time travel ended before it really began.

A router and a modem got married.....

They where pronounced husbandwith and WiFi

Women's Convention (A little Long)

Women from around the world gather at this convention to share their stories of how they rekindled their love with their husbands.

A English women approaches the stage and begins, " for five days I told my husband, I will no longer cook for you, make you tea, and do you laundry. The first day...

I was playing a flat earth documentary on Netflix when my wife walked in.

What you watching?

Sci-fi.

A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him and says, "Welcome to hell, Dave. First, the Wi-fi password is..."

Dave says, "Wait, you guys have wi-fi?"

Satan replies, "Of course we do."

"That's certainly not bad at all" says Dave.

Satan continues, "So, as I was saying, the wi-fi password is the numb...

What’s the greatest sci-fi show? Well subjectively it’s doctor who

But objectively it’s doctor whom

Is the Demigorgon the weirdest Sci-Fi monster?

Could be; I haven’t seen stranger things

Technology is the death of us

DEAR NEIGHBOR:


Hi, George. This is Richard, next door. I've a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text. I can't live with myself a minute longer without your...

What's the Russian word for no Wi-Fi?

Interniet

I put scaffolding on my Hi-fi and steel girders on my digital radio.

Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

The Wi-Fi at my parents' house is really slow, so I hope this sends...

but I just wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas for tomorrow!

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...

...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

Set Your Wi-Fi Password to 77777777555555333311

So when someone ask tell them it's 87654321

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

Did you hear about the 50 plus year old Sci Fi fan with big nipples?

Areola 51

Semper Fi...

A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are
moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune:

"One Marine is better than 10 Isis fighters".

The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of his best
men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues
for...

I finally watched that Netflix sci-fi show that everyone is watching...

I keep hearing from everyone that it's a very wierd show, but to be honest, I've seen stranger things.

I can't wait for this weekend's big Sci-Fi Rom-Com movie opening...

Star Wars: When Hairy Met Solo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Small village

In a country,there was a small village which has very bad winter conditions. So bad that , no communication, no WiFi,no transportation to anywhere.
One of correspandant of a newspaper decided to write an essay about that' village.
He set off and hardly reached to village. He found the sheriff ...

Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age

Emperor Ping

Love is like Wi-Fi

You can’t see it, but you'll know when you lose it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to have this friend who always called me Fi-Fi

You know, because my name is Philip. I was always disappointed that I couldn't do the same with her.

Her name was Camille, that would've just been a shitty nickname.

"How much to buy a singing ensemble?"

PRODUCER: You mean a choir?

"Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"

What's a classic Russian sci-fi film?

Czar Wars

I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions...

The time machine alone set me back 15 years.

What was the Sci-fi remake of A Streetcar Named Desire?

InterSTELLLLLLLAAAAAAAR

A russian has no Wi-Fi nearby. We could say that...

He doesn't have InterNYET.

My wi-fe and my wi-fi

They're both 1 meg, very useful in the kitchen and never want to connect in the bedroom

"Can I use your WiFi?"

An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.

When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your WiFi?".

The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."

I read Sci Fi the same way that I read recipes

I skip to the end and think, "that'll never happen"

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My wife bought one of those wireless bras, she said it's much better than her old wired ones

But she's full of shit cause i can't get the bloody thing to connect to the WiFi.

What does the iron deficient giant say?

“fi fo fum”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bi sexual Hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie watching sci-fi on wifi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked...

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the
entire length looking for a seat.

There seemed to be one
next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there,
he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle.

The war-weary
Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have tha...

Uh-oh. I think the object of my affections suspects something.

She's changed her WiFi name to "HeyYouInTheTreeIveCalledThePolice".

How to audio files say hi to one another?

They just .wav

A guy walks into a bar to get some work done.

Guy says to the bartender “hey, can I get the WiFi password?” Bartender says “you have to buy a drink first”. Guy grunts and says “fine, let me get a jack and coke”. Bartender comes over and gives the man his drink. Guys say “now can I have the WiFi password?” Bartender nods and say “you have to b...

If trees produced wifi we'd be planting them everywhere...

... too bad they only produce oxygen.

It was very easy to escape from prison.

The WiFi was so bad that there were zero bars on my cell.

Pete is walking down the harbour and sees 2 fishermen. He always wanted to have a go at fishing so he goes up to them to ask.

Pete has a stutter though so he goes " h-he-hello guys would y-you you mind if i come f-f-fi-fishing with you?"
They look at eachother and decide that "yes you can come, but be quiet, we don't want you to scare away the fish". So pete all happy gets in the boat and they go out into the sea.
A...

A man needs WiFi at the local pub.

A man goes into a local pub and has poor cell signal.

He asks for the WiFi password.

The bartender replies: “You need to buy a drink first.”

The man says fine and orders a Coke, which costs him $3. He then asks again, “what’s the WiFi password?”

The bartender answers: “Y...

A Marine who is missing both of his arms walks into the bar...

The bartender - also a former serviceman - spots the guy's SemperFi tattoo and shoves a tall foaming glass of beer in front of him.

"This one is on the house bro", he says.

"Thanks man," said the patron.

"Look" he says... "would you mind to hold the glass up to my mouth?"...

I was at a funeral service the other day and didn't have any cell service...

So, I marched down the aisle to the front and gave the priest a friendly ol' pat on the shoulder. "Hey buddy, do you by any chance know the Wi-Fi password about these parts?"

The priest, bewildered, gave me a look of disgust and hissed, "show some respect."

"All lowercase?" I asked.

The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy...

So I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable Wi-Fi!

Wifi password

I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer to the hotel lounge to do some work. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What’s the WiFi password?"

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I’ll have a beer.

Bartender: We have Molso...

What's R. Kelly's Wifi Password?

WiBelieveICanFi

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A teenager was standing in front of a recruiter, about to sign his life away to the Marines.

The recruiter promised him adventure and action, and the teenager was buying it all up. He finished his training (Semper Fi!) and was immediately given his first posting: he was going to Afghanistan. Being an FNG, the Devil Dog worked long and worked hard, but by the end of his tour, he felt he had ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day the pope wakes up with an erection

Damnit, must have been a side effect from the Holy Viagra. It won't go away, but he has a parade to go to that morning! So he steps onto his Holy Balcony, slips out of his Holy Pyjamas, and does what most people do when they have an erection they want to get rid of.

That's masturbate, by the ...

In my spare time I like to pretend I’m a giant

I fee fi for fun

An engineer dies.

He proceeds up to the pearly gates and approaches Saint Peter. Saint Peter checks his list, but does not see the engineer. The engineer says, "I have lived my entire life for good, there must be some sort of mistake!" But Saint Peter won't hear it, and sends him to hell.

When he gets to he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Astronomers detected radio signals from the same source 1.5 billion light years away.

And I can't get the fucking WiFi connection in my room.

A man walks into a bar...

Man: Hello, can I have the wi-fi password please?

Bartender: only if you drink 1l of whiskey.

Man: 1 liter of Whiskey? Damn. That's a lot. Deal, give me 1 liter of Whiskey.

\*the bartender gives the whiskey to the sir\*

Man: Done, can I have wi-fi password now?

Bar...

I'm so tired of my phone carrier...

I had the Wi-Fi hotspot on and I was connected from my laptop, the signal was awful and I ran out of data

I tell you what, I'm at the end of my tether...

Two phones walk into a bar

Phone 1: Hey man you still having trouble with the WiFi?

Phone 2: Unfortunately. I just don't feel like she and I really connect anymore, you know?

Using your wife!

A man received text from his neighbor ... :
"Sorry sir, I am using your wife...I am using day and night ...I am using when you are not present at home....In fact I am using more than You are using.....
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt...
Hope You will accept my sincere apo...

I heard internet addiction is now an official mental disorder and you can go to rehab for it.

Guess I'm going only if there is only Wi-Fi.

I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting.

I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located.

The WiFi is broken

The WiFi at home has been broken all weekend so I had to talk to the wife...

To my surprise, I learnt that she no longer works at Woolworths.

Height of internet addiction

At a funeral in church


A visitor: What's the Wi-Fi password here ?

Priest: Respect the dead.

Visitor: all small letters?

Childen are playing on a kindergarten playground with their tablets...

...and the teacher is sleeping on a bench. A lady walks by and wakes the teacher up: "Aren't you afraid that the children will run away and get lost?" asks the lady. "I'm not afraid at all," says the teacher, "the WiFi signal covers the playground only."

So I walked into the bar the other day...

And asked the bartender for the WiFi password. He replied with you’ve got to buy a drink first. I figured that was a fair enough policy so I went ahead and bought a beer and asked him again for the password. He said youvegottobuyadrinkfirst all lower case.

In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine...

Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came on just as I was filling the can

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beauty is just a matter of timing: In 1970s America I would’ve been ridiculed for having a hairless chest. In ancient Greece I would’ve been laughed at for having a big penis.

Still waiting for that bald future all those fucking sci-fi movies promised me.

My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".

Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".

My grandma and I were face timing with a bad connection

So she says, "hold on, let me open the door to let some WiFi's in."


True stories can be jokes too..

Critics are comparing Aquaman to Black Panther

At first glance, the movies do appear similar. They both feature ancient sci-fi utopias hidden from the rest of the world. In each movie, theres a fight for the throne in order to stop a war. However, they are ignoring one major difference: the characters in Aquaman can swim.

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