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Ess Jokes

Three Buddhist monks die in a car crash…

They arrive in a beautiful clouded world and begin to walk towards a man. He is standing in front of the golden gates of heaven.

“Hello! I am Peter. Behind me, is Heaven. Unfortunately, I can’t let you in since you three weren’t Christians… But! if you can tell me what the meaning of Eas...

One American Soldier

My apologies if this has been told here already (I haven't found it yet). A military buddy of mine told me this when he got back home:



One day during the Gulf War, an Iraqi general and his army were patrolling through semi-mountainous terrain. Suddenly, over one of the hills they hear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Success is like pregnancy...

Everyone congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it...

My father just disowned me and my brother after we got hired as valets…

I guess we can understand him, no man alive wants to have Parking-sons

Why are French snails faster than snails from other countries?

L’ess cargo.

A rich Texan is on vacation in Ireland...

One of my oldest, one of my favorites, but I haven't seen it pop up since I've been subbed. But of course it's surely a repost. I like to put on the Texan drawl and Irish accent for this one...

After a long day of sightseeing the Irish countryside the Texan wants to relax and have a beer so...

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"You dirty-mouth pigs! In this country we dont talk about our dirty sex lives in public"

Two men with strong accents are having a conversation on the bus and a lady behind then eavesdrops.

"Emma comma first. Den I come. Den two esses acomma together. I come once-a-more. Two esses, dey comma together again. I comma again and pee twice. Den I comma one last time."

"You dirty...

What does a patriotic cholo love the most?

You, esse!

What do you call a short Mexican?

A paragraph. Because it's only half an esse.

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