UPJOKE
straysmulti-facialfind me guiltythe iron giantdieselriddickbiodieselpetrolkerosenegasolinepropanerefuelbutanefuelpetroleum

Vin Diesel Jokes

What’s Vin Diesels favourite car

Mazda Familia

Did you know that Vin Diesel only eats two meals a day to keep in shape for making movies?

Breakfast and breakfurious

Vin Diesel wants the next Fast and Furious movie to be a musical.

It’s called “*Jesus Christ, Supercar!*”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Vin Diesel's lovemaking style?

Pitch Black, Multi-Facial, XXX and Fast and Furious.

What do both Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have in common?

Both of their last big hits were trees

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vin Diesel is back as Xander Cage in

TedXXX

Vin Diesel pulled up next to me at a light the other day

Shocked, I saw him motion for me to roll down my window. I did and he said to me:

"You know what I put in my car?"

"Gas?" I replied.

"Diesel" he said and then he sped off.

Weird Al and Vin Diesel should team up with a chip tune band

Then they could be Al, Vin & The Chip Monks

Vin Diesel was riding his bike at the speed of light when a man asked him for a lift.

Vin Diesel stopped for him to hop on and continued riding at the speed of light.
After a while the man asked.
Man: "So what's your name?"
Vin: "Cin Diesel"
Man: "Don't you mean Vin Diesel?"
Vin: "No it's Cin Diesel"
Man: "But why?"
Vin: "Because at the speed of light c=v"

Why didn’t they ever stop for gas in the Fast and Furious movies?

They had Vin Diesel.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

After a fight, my girlfriend wanted to know where we stood. I told her I loved her like Vin Diesel loves Paul Walker. She got all giddy and told me how much she loves me too.

I looked at her with confusion and clarified: "What I meant was you're dead to me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So how's the sex life?

Two fellows are catching up over a pint. Neither one of them are in the best of shape.

The older fellow says, "Well now that you've been married a few years, how is the sex life?"

The younger fellow says, "The wife calls me Vin Diesel when we are in the sack."

The older fellow...

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.

Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"

Big Catholic ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.