What do you call a Tylenol with great dreams for the future?

Aspirin'

A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Mississippi.

...Resulting in river failure.

A lemon gets sick

A lemon is walking home late one night and gets caught in a thunderstorm. With no raincoat or umbrella around, he toughs it out and paces home as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, the lemon ends up catching a cold with some light fever and coughs from prolonged exposure in the rain and cold...

A truck load of Tylenol spills onto a baker’s assistant in a terrible crash

The headline read: ‘Pills bury dough boy.’

Husband: Hey honey I brought you some Tylenol for your headache.

Wife: I don't have a headache

Husband: Great because I also bought condoms

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A guy hands his wife 2 Tylenol and a glass of water...

The wife says, "Honey, what's this for? I don't have a headache."

So the husband says, "Good, let's fuck."

My Tylenol bottle says "DO NOT TAKE IF SEAL NOT PRESENT."

Does anyone know how to contact him?

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If advil is ibuprofen, and tylenol is acetaminophen, what is viagra?

Micoxafalin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra...

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic...

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

Lovemaking tips for Seniors

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name o...

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Jack and Mary work in a corporate office building together.

Their boss has a dilemma, both are hard, diligent workers but the company's not doing so well, and cannot afford to keep both. He decides he's going to watch them both from his office one day, and whoever works the hardest will keep their job.


On Friday, he watches them all through the...

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A man goes to his doctor with a sore arm.

He sits down on the exam table and the doctor looks at his arm.
"What seems to be the trouble today, Mr. Wainscotting?", the doctor asks.
"Doc, I've got terrible pain starting in my bicep and extending down to my forearm." replies Mr. Wainscotting.
"Let's have a look."
The doctor examine...

Why don't people take Advil in Thailand?

Because they prefer Thai-lenol (Tylenol).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Viagra

In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name.

Tylenol is Acetaminophen;

Advil is Ibuprofen;

Rogaine is Monoxidil; and so on.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and
announced today that they have settled on:

Mycoxafloppin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife: "I'm going to bed, honey."

Husband: "Okay, sweetheart. I'll go get you a tylenol."

Wife: "But why? I don't have a headache."

Husband: "Great! Let's fuck."

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Seamus, how was your day?”

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Seamus, how was your day?”

Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.

“The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”

“Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.

“The second one had s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother-in-law came to visit me and my wife...

As we sat talking I could see the look in my wife's eyes that she was feeling horny.

But not wanting to make it obvious she game me the "look" and said she had a headache, and then went straight to the bedroom. After some time, I excused myself saying, I'd check on her, leaving her mother in...

Three Doctors were discussing pain,

three Doctors were discussing ways to treat pain.

The first Doctor said that he thought Advil or Tylenol would do in most cases.

The second Doctor said that he thought that prescription pain pills were needed a lot more than are prescribed.

The third Doctor said that he believed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher asks her class for some examples of medicines tgey use at home

Little Kevin promptly raises his hands and says, "Tylenol! For headaches!"

The teacher says, "Very good, Kevin, anyone else?"

Little Lisa answers from the back, "Um, Ambien, my Mom tells me it helps her sleep...?"

The teacher smiles at her and says, "Good job, Lisa," then turns ...

This is a Mitch Hedberg inspired joke

So I was moving a refrigerator and I needed some extra strength. Instead of grabbing some Tylenol, I snagged a couple of Altoids instead. Cause I'll admit, I was curious...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny knows his pills.

Miss Paula is going around the classroom asking if the students know what pills take for what ails them.

- Little Suzie, what do you take if you have a headache?

Well, miss Paula, my mommy gives me Tylenol when I have a headache.

- Good answer. James, what do you take if you hav...

Doctor wants to Deer hunting, asks for Ole's help. Northern Minnesota joke, read in accent for more fun.

An old man came into the restaurant I work at the other day and told me this story. I thought it was pretty funny.

A Doctor wants to go deer hunting. He's asking to get someone to cover his shift, but none of the other doctors would come in for him, and he already made plans and everything an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super-Diagnostic Machine

Leroy and Roscoe are sitting around the lunch table in the break room when Roscoe starts complaining about his elbow. "I reckon Imma hafta go down to the doc and have him check this thang out." Leroy says, "Naw, don't waste yur money. Wal-Mart has this new contrapshun whur you can go and put a pi...

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