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Trembled Jokes

The lion decided to invite everyone to his birthday party. But, him being the king, he ordered everybody to bring him meat as a present, or else he will hit them with his massive dong. And soon, the day came and all the animals lined up infront of the lion's cave with their presents.

The Wolf wanted to gift the King lamb, the fox had a chicken, the leopard an antilope, and so on...The lion greeted all of his guests and welcomed them to the party. Suddenly, the rabbit stood infront of him with a carrot. All guests went silent. The lion looked him in the eyes and said: " You know...

The Jewelry Store

An older man walked into a jewelry store with a young woman. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, “No, I'd like to see something more special.”

The jeweler went to hi...

The sky was blue, the moon was high, we were together, just her and I...

The sky was blue, the moon was high, we were together, just her and I.

Her hair was brown, her eyes baby blue, I knew exactly what she wanted to do.

And so, with courage, I did my best and laid my hand upon her breast.

Her face was light, her body fine, I ran my finger down her ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An accountant found guilty of embezzlement was thrown into a cell with a large, hairy intimidating man

The small accountant had heard stories about how he was going to become the victim in this rough prison to which he had been sentenced. He looked up at the very hairy, sweaty, cell mate and slightly trembled.

The accountant was slightly heartened when the hulking man before him asked, "So, do...

Seen this one in the paper... gave me a giggle

An elderly Irish man lay dying on his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of ...

After a session of snogging in the couch, my girlfriend whispered " Shall we go upstairs?"

" yes " I said eagerly.

"Do you have protection? " She asked .

"Why? What's up there?" I trembled.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to prison.

As the guard is taking him to his cell, all the inmates are cat whistling at him, winking, and shouting “see you in the shower princess”. The guy is terrified and swears to himself that he’ll never go for a shower. As the weeks go by he’s starting to smell real bad but he still refuses to take a sho...

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad.

Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.

Until then, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.
“You must take the loyalty oa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's only gonna be seven planets in the sky tonight!

"Why? There's eight planets." She said with a look that only someone truly offended can give you. Our hero and Random Girl #24 talked for hours about space, planets, and stars until they both were well aquatinted with one another. She was leaning on his shoulder and then asked again, "why'd you say ...

I went for a romantic break with the wife

She came out of the bathroom and said "take off my dress"

As I peeled off her dress, she said "take off my bra"

My hands trembled as I unclasped the strap. Then came "take off my knickers"

I slowly pulled them down, and she shouted

"and I don't ever want to catch you wear...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were being chased by an axe-murderer...

when they stumbled upon an old abandoned warehouse. Deciding that it was the safest place to hide, the three women entered the warehouse.

Along the back wall of the warehouse were three empty potato sacks laying on the ground. Thinking on their feet, each women got into a sack to hide from c...

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