Did you hear about the ants that made a Teeter Totter out of a toothpick and half a crumb?

Well it didn't work, so they had to use a FULLCRUMB

What's the difference between a teeter totter on a ranch and a donkey's grandpa?

One's a yee haw seesaw and the other is a hee haw peepaw.

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The Little Old Lady At Service (not mine)

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones?" "Are you not willing to forgive your enemie...

Shipping out soon!

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you'v...

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Two elderly people are sitting in an old-age home

The first says, “You know, Eliza, every day we have left is a blessing. What do you say we head to my room and have a little fun?”

Eliza thinks for a bit, and finally shrugs and says, “Sure, why not?”

The two totter off to his room, him tottering on his cane, her shuffling along on her...

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An old woman asks for her neighbor's parrot..

An old woman was chatting with her next door neighbor, and when he mentioned that he was going away to college and could not take his parrot with him, she asked him what he would do with the bird.
"Ah, I'll give 'em to the pet store. Somebody else's problem."
Well this just would not do for t...

So Koala was smoking in a tree...

... And he was getting really high. He'd been up there for a pretty long time, and lizard walked by. Lizard sees Koala and says "hey koala! You got enough to share? I haven't smoked in forever!"
Koala, being a pretty chill dude, says "sure man!" And lizard climbed the tree and joined him.
They...

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An elderly couple was listening ...

...to a religious revival on the radio. The preacher ended his stirring speech by saying "God wants to heal you all. Just stand up, put your hand on the radio, then place the other hand on the part of your body that is sick."

The old woman tottered to her feet, put one hand on the radio and ...

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