UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I were driving home late last night.

We spotted a scantily dressed young lady standing somewhat unsteadily at the corner. My wife remarked, "she looks high as shit!"

"Oh, I don't know," I replied, "Fifty dollars doesn't seem that high to me."

My arm is still sore where she punched me.

A little old lady is late for work

And settles into a pew at the back just as the priest is saying "And anyone who has recently committed adultery should stand up." Being somewhat hard of hearing, she asks the boy next to her to repeat what the priest just said. "He asked everyone who wants a mint to stand up." The boy replied mischi...

David's life was at a low point.

Seeing no way out, he walked out on a bridge, intending to end it all by leaping off. A woman, driving by in her car, sees David hesitating unsteadily on the wrong side of the railing and realizes what's going on. She stops her car and dashes over, hoping to talk him out of suicide.

"Wait!" s...

A man had too much to drink...

He was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at two in the morning?” asked the officer.

“I’m going to a lecture,” the man said.

“And who is going to ...

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