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Alcatraz Jokes

Holiday trip to Alcatraz

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz.


Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them...

Did you hear about the dwarf that escaped by rappelling from Alcatraz?

I would tell you, but it’s a little condescending.

What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?

A con-tour map

Some shallots were hired to break some scallions out of Alcatraz...

But when the job was done and they were back on the boat, the realized that they had also sprung a leek by mistake.

Why were the prisoners of Alcatraz upset when the shortest inmate broke free by sliding down his homemade rope?

It was a little condescending.

I once had a selfie with Dwayne Johnson at the Alcatraz Island (during an SF City Tour)...

Now I know what it feels to be stucked between The Rock and A Hard Place...

What’s the deal with prisons and starting with the letter A...

I mean Alcatraz, Azkaban, Australia and Auschwitz.

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