I like you, in a plutonic way.

"Don't you mean 'platonic'?"

No, plutonium, like radioactive exposure, the longer I'm with you the more I feel like dying.

I've been going on a lot of dates with an alien, but I swear we're just friends.

It's a plutonic relationship

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once a part of a nine-member sex cult who aimed to please this one main red-hot guy. I was then kicked out from it but my life still revolves around the main guy and I remain friends with the others.

Guess my relationship with them is Plutonic.

People keep saying my dwarf best friend is in love with me

But our relationship is strictly plutonic.

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