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Toppled Jokes

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The mourners looked on aghast as the coffin toppled out of the car.

"We'll have to rehearse that", said the undertaker.

Huge crash on the high way, a lorry full on snooker equipment toppled over

There were cues for miles

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A man is driving through Hartford, CT

he sees a bunch of orange traffic cones toppled over and strewn all over the road. It's not an isolated incident either. Everywhere in the city traffic cones are in utter disarray, like the construction crews just didn't give a shit and threw them anywhere, causing mayhem with the traffic

At ...

On his deathbed, the old man ...

... could smell his wife's fresh chocolate chip cookies from the kitchen. He decided to venture out of bed for one last bite of his favourite cookie before he died. He toppled out of bed and dragged himself to the stairs and managed to make his way down to the kitchen. Sure enough, there was a batch...

At the Pearly Gates in Heaven

The first applicant of the day at the Pearly Gates explains that his last day was not a good one...
“I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just got out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she w...

Chaos Theory

Two friends are chatting in a pub.

- Have you heard that Mike died yesterday?

-- Oh no! What happened to him?

- He was about to pass our house driving his car when he crashed into a parking car on the side of the road, broke through the wind shield, flown through straight in our...

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A whale was swimming along with his wife...

A whale was swimming along with his wife when he saw a merchant boat approaching, he told his wife "hey, let's teach them a lesson, let's swim from below, blow air and that'll make the boat topple over".

And sure enough, they did and the boat toppled over. Then the male whale saw the sailors...

A man wins the lottery...

[*I heard this joke for the first time as a 13 year old at a family party. So imagine my mild mannered German 70 year old great uncle calmly telling this joke to the whole table. I had never heard him tell a joke before. It's still one of my favourite jokes*]

A man wins the lottery after year...

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Three men die and are waiting to enter heaven

St. Peter approaches the group and says, "Well, Heaven is a little backed up right now, and only one of you can get in at the moment. I don't have my sheet with me, so you'll have to tell me how you died. Whichever one of you died the most painful death can get in first." St. Peter approaches the fi...

Heaven is getting kinda full...

Heaven is getting kinda full, so St. Peter thinks of an idea to only let people in if they had a really bad last day on earth.

A man walks up to the pearly gates, and St. Peter asks him about his last day on earth. The man responds, "It was horrible. I just KNEW my wife was cheating on me, so...

Three men are waiting in line at the pearly gates

St. Peter says, "I will hear all three of your stories first, then I will decide who gets into heaven and who goes to hell."

The first guy steps up. "So I have been suspecting that my wife has been cheating on me for awhile now. I decided to come home early one day and I find her naked on the...

The Mysterious Letters of Gustavo Rahre

Gustavo Rahre (1932-1991) was an eccentric Chilean artist who left mysterious sculptures of letters of the alphabet scattered in remote locations around the globe. Working with local materials—limestone, sandstone, granite, clay, even wood and peat—he sculpted his first letter, an O, not far from hi...

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