My wife asked me why I was yelling at the pot of water on the stove.

I said, water boils ~~faster~~ hotter under pressure.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

True latin story

Some friend of mine and his wife have some OnlyFans account, if you dont know about that, its a sucessful market, and obviously to create that awesome porn scene a real male needs some viagra. You know that long ass strokes aint real fam, come on man, 40s is the normal time for healthy men.

...

3 boys in elementary school are bored.

3 boys are in elementary school. During lunch, the boys decide to have a competition. β€œI can fit my bread roll in my mouth!”, the first boy says confidently, and he does so.

β€œThats nothing!” says the second boy, β€œi can fit TWO dumplings in my mouth!” And he does so with ease.

Unimpre...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do you call a goth prostitute?

Edgar Allan Ho

Credit where credit due,
Thx u/roxy-rambles

help: iphone 6s freezes but only when i play song "down with the sickness" any ideas??

edit: thx guys, turns out i was in "Do Not Disturbed" mode

Why cant a bicycle stand?

Because its too tired

Two old friends meet in bar...

[translated from Turkish]

-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!

-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while


-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?

-Mais biensur !

-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the sam...

Heaven is full, whoever had the worst day gets in...

So the first man walks up to the angel and talks about his day: I suspected my wife was cheating on me so I came home to my 25th floor apartment early, I saw my wife naked in bed so I looked everywhere for the guy! I couldn't find him when finally I saw a guy hanging from the balcony, I beat him but...

The old dog, the leopard and the monkey

An old dog got lost in the savanna... Noticing easy prey, a leopard prepared for an ambush behind a tree. However, the dog could also smell the leopard and being quite crafty he took a quick survey of the area and found a bone. With the bone in his mouth he soliloquized "Oh my goodness, this is so t...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

My thai-girlfriend told me it's ok to have a small penis

I would still prefer that she had a vagina.

So a Man's VERY Liberal Neighbors Adopt a Young Child.

One day, the man goes to their house with a warming gift, and says to the little girl-
"What would you like to do when you grow up?" The child responds that she would like to help the homeless. So the man says-
"Alright, how about this. You mow my lawn a and ill give you $12. You can give tha...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.