The Nose Jokes - 16 Hilarious The Nose Jokes

Did you see that guy with the nose?

He looks like he smells.

My wife ran into the room suddenly and yelled: “Quick! Do you know of anything physical that gives off no smells? Zero. Sort of like an olfactory camouflage that would be utterly invisible to the nose?”

Confused, I thought for a moment, and then replied: “What you are describing makes absolutely no scents”

Why did the smiley emoji :-) drop the nose :) ???

It was too negative.

A man jumps into a lion's cage to save a 5 year old boy by punching the lion in the nose

Soon, reporters are on the scene.

"Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself"

"Well, I'm currently a stockbroker, but I got out of the Army only two years ago"

"What do you do for fun"

"I'm an avid fisherman, and I teach rifle safety classes for the NRA"

"Who...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. I walked in on my wife having sex with my best friend.

So I did what any husband would do.

Took a rolled up newspaper and smacked him on the nose saying, "Bad dog! Very Bad dog!"

Why did the nose cross the street?

No body nose.

Why is the nose in the middle of your face?

Because it's the in the scenter.

Where do you strike a captain on the nose?

the bridge

What do you call the King of the Noses?

His Royal Sinus

How did the nose know that the couple was in a healthy relationship?

It could smell their conscent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you break the nose of a blonde without touching her?

Wave your cock underneath a glass table

Jeffery Dahmer kept a journal, he wrote how he would take the noses of his victims and make pizzas with them.

Dahmersnose Pizza.

A drunk stumbles out of the bar, sees a nun on the sidewalk and pops her one right in the nose...

while she's on the ground crying, he says,"Not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

A polish pilot is going in for a landing when he realizes the runway is not long enough. After putting on the emergency breaks he screeches to a halt, missing the airport with the nose of the plane by mere feet.

The enraged pilot told the reporters later on "This is an obvious design flaw in American airports, why the hell would they make the landing strips so short? Or so unbelievably wide!?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drop dead my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose

And said "No one does that to a girl............not on my watch.

A biker is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back...

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