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The Joker Jokes

I heard The Joker just accidentally killed someone...

He was convicted of involuntary man's laughter.

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That’s Arkham’s Razor.

What's the difference between The Joker and Dane Cook?

The Joker steals money and kills people, and Dane Cook steals jokes and kills comedy.

What drink does the Joker hate?

Societea

Jason Todd walks into a bar, where the Joker is behind the counter. He says "Jason, you know I can't serve Robins here"

Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"



Then he beats him to death.

What do you call The Joker in a Cold forest?

Joaquin in a winter wonder land.

What did the Joker say while playing poker?

"Wanna know how I got these cards?"

The Joker finally captured Batman

The Joker: Say something funny, or die!

Batman: No you.

The Joker: I... you... how... *laughs hysterically*

Batman: That wasn't funny.

The Joker: *commits suicide*

What was the Jokers catchphrase during the prohibition?

We live in a sobriety

Where does The Joker get his hair done?

Arkham Hairstylum

Why couldn't the joker enter the shop?

because there was a board outside stating "no funny business"

Who would win in a fight between the Joker an John Wick?

The Joker because he would make John Wicks pencil disappear

I feel bad for the jokers that don't get this reference.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Apitydef

Apitydef who?

Ok there, Mr. T.

The Joker was walking around snowy streets of Gotham

Joaquin in the winter wonderland.

What is The Joker's Native American name?

Walking Phoenix

Batman and the Joker are in the retirement home together, working on crafts projects. Batman looks at Joker's cross-stitch of the night sky and asks, "Why'd you leave out the Dog Star?" Joker answers...

"Why sew Sirius?"

This should hace been a quote from the Joker movie

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull one out of your bag at school, everyone suddenly wants to be your friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Joker send Harley Quinn A Photo of Robin?

She asked him for a dick pic.

How come the Joker can have so many different suits?

He has plenty of room in his Joaquin closet.

What did Batman show the Joker when he dropped his batpants?

Deez batnutz.

GOTHAM!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the Joker call masturbation?

Beating the Red Hood.

Without the Joker, there's no Batman. Without Frazier, there's no Ali.

Without Russian sports, there's no Anti-Doping Agency

what do you call it when the joker takes a quick stroll?

walking phoenix

What did the Joker say when he was on top of Batman?

"Joke's on you, Batman"

What did the joker say to the wispy ice cloud?

Why so cirrus?

Turns out the Joker has a criminally-insane dog.

He's locked up in Barkham Asylum.

The Joker kidnapped some Scandanavian actors. He called the Gotham Police Department and said,

"Ya wanna know where I got these Skarsgårds?"

Batman lay battered and bruised on the ground as the joker walked off basking in his victory

Robin approaches Batman and kicks him!

Batman: “why did you do that?”

Robin: “looked like you could use a side kick!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Joker say after he paid depressed prostitutes to come over to his house?

"All I have is negative thots"

I saw The Joker working at a winter apparel store.

He turned to me and said "You wanna know how I got these scarves?"

Why did the Joker go up to the International Space Station?

Some men just want to watch the world turn.

What Do the Joker and 60,000,000 people have in common?

They just wanna watch the world burn

Batman took some flak going to the Police Ball dressed as the Joker

But sometimes he’s his own worst enemy.

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II

# Alaska

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'

Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous va...

The Joker is in a room with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and has a gun with one bullet, who does he shoot?

Neither. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

In a hotel room at night, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep...

At night in a hotel room, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep: they tell various political jokes. He tries to scare them:


"The KGB is listening to everything here!"


Those two just laugh and continue. Then he goes out and asks the room attendant to bring to the r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman's day off

Superman has a very rare day off and decides to fly around to figure out how to spend it.

He flies over to Batman's place and approaches him. "Hey Batman, I have the day off want to hang out?". "Sorry Superman, I have to stop the Joker from killing my girlfriend". Superman replies, "Eh whatev...

There was a murder in Gotham last night. Police Commissioner Gordon told Batman some elaborate conspiracy theories,

But it's more likely that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

Batman goes to a party

To his surprise, he sees that the Joker is there too.

"He must be up to something," he thinks.

And so he sneaks up behind him, knocks him out, and puts him in a back room.

When walks out, he sees the Joker again.

"How did he recover so quickly?"

Once again he kno...

A Robin walks into a crowbar.

Like 30 or 40 times

-The Joker

How is a joke like a frog?

If you have to dissect it, it's probably already dead.

See, because a common practice in laboratories, whether inhabited by students or professionals, is to dissect an animal, usually a frog, to understand the internal workings of it's body. Of course, this animal would be in a lot of pain if...

50 Jokes for 50 US States

# ALABAMA

When a visitor to a town in Alabama spotted a dog attacking a boy, he grabbed the animal and throttled it with his bare hands. An impressed reporter saw the incident and told him the next day's headline would scream "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

'...

My 4 year old nephew just came up with this joke and proceeded to laugh for 20 minutes after saying it...

When Batman cracks a joke...
He becomes the joker

My friend rip me this joke and I can’t stop laughing

Lawyer: my client is stuck in a penny

Judge: what

Lawyer: he is in a cent

Judge: he is in a cent?

Lawyer and client leave the courtroom doing the joker and spider man dance

People in town had noticed that a certain miser never invited anybody to dinner.

"I'll bet," said a prankster, "that I can get an invitation."

The wager was accepted, and our prankster went to see the rich man the next day, at a time when he knew that the miser would be at the table with his family.

He rang the bell, and told the servant who opened the door that h...

New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friendly joke from us in Australia

We were walking past the local community centre in our town when we saw a window licker, or 'mong' if you will.

Fucking funniest thing we ever saw.

"Fucktard", shouted one of my mates. We all laughed.

"Bed soiler", shouted Jack, the joker of the pack. We laughed even harder.
...

2 guys locked in a lunatic asylum.

See, there were 2 guys locked in a lunatic asylum. One night, they decided to escape. They made it up to the rooftop, across this narrow gap, they see rooftops. Stretching out into freedom.

The first guy, he jumps across no problem. But his friend, nope, afraid of falling. First guy thinks of...

Mother nature decides to buy a condo in Miami Beach.

Mother nature decided she would like to be a snowbird and bought a condo in Miami Beach. All of the mythological creatures were invited to her housewarming party.

Father time gave her a beautiful grandfather clock.
Jack Frost presented her with a state of art air conditioning system.
Th...

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part V

# California

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) want to see who is the best at catching perps. So, a rabbit is released into the forest, and each of them has to catch it.

In goes CIA. They place...

"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been t...

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