Why didn't the dentist let Jack Nicholson keep his extracted wisdom teeth?

He can't HANDLE the tooth!

Heath ledger and Jack Nicholson walk into a cell phone store...

The cellphone salesman looks at Heath Ledger and asks him what type of cellphone he would like, he says he wants the best cell phone they have. So the salesman hands him the best cell phone they sell and also asks him if he would like a text messages and data plan. Health responds of course I will, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My go-to joke whenever anybody asks me to tell them a joke...

A man walks into a pet shop and sees a beautiful parrot. He asks the shop owner about it, and the owner says "Ah, that's the Wikibird. Not only can it talk, but it knows a lot of useful information. You can ask it anything you want and it will respond."

The man decides to test out the Wikibir...

Deleted scene from The Shining

[Jack Nicholson chops into door with axe]

[Shelley Duvall screams]

[Jack Nicholson sticks his head through the hole in the door] HEEEEERE'S JOURNEY!!!

["Any Way You Want It" starts playing]

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