I wish people would be more appreciative of me making them breakfast in bed.
None of this “who the fuck are you” and “get out of my house” nonsense
When I donated a kidney, they said I was a hero.
But when I donated 7 more, they seemed a lot less appreciative.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
As a millennial in 2019, I'm really appreciative for all the meals my mother cooked for me as a kid...
Because now whenever I eat ass it always reminds me of home.
Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.
When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn’t there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.
The conductor said, “Dr. Ein...
I spotted an albino Dalmatian yesterday
He was not very appreciative of it though
A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan
A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.
The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"
The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."
The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Ro...
An old woman is sitting on her porch when a genie appears
"You get one wish" he is straight to the point. woman thinks about it but she is content with her life. Just that moment her cat strolls by. With a mischievous smile she tells genie she wants her cat turned into handsome man. "Done" genie says and vanishes. And true to his word instead of a cat ther...
A new teacher trying to get to know his students.
He asked one of them "what do you do after school" Student 1: I go home, watch TV then go to Frank the weed guy"
Teacher felt awkward and decided to ask another student. Student 2 "me, I play football then go to Frank the weed guy"
Teacher was really disappointed but didn't want...
The man who was always cold
Old Arab joke, hope it translates well
There once was a man who was always cold. No matter how many layers of clothes he wore, or how much heat he was exposed to, he would be shivering. He was a good, pious man, so when he died, God took him up to Heaven. While the man was very appreciati...
A man is at the funeral of an old friend.
He hesitantly approaches the deceased's wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods. The man clears his throat and says, "Plethora."
The widow smiles appreciatively. "Thank you," she says. "That means a lot."
Another man comes up and says: "Mind if I say a word too?" She sa...