Tch Jokes

Because he’s a dirty, double-crossing son of a b*tch.

*edit* And a such GOOD one, yes he IS!

And then all of sudden he said 3+6 the son of a b !tch is 9, and then he said 2+5 the son of a b!tch is 7, so I said, what are you saying, son?! He said, but my teacher she showed us how to do Math and that's what she said...so just to make sure I was like, OK go on. He said 2+2 the son of a b!tch i... read more

The parish priest went on a fishing trip.

On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, 'Look at the size of that Son of a B#tch!'

'Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!'

'No, Father, that's... read more

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: Come on, say daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!

Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!

Mom: Honey, I'm home!

Baby: F*ck you!

Mom: Who taught you that?

Baby: Daddy!

Dad: Son of a b*tch.

Its soda pressing.



(tch tch, that was lame)

A sand witch.

The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up.


Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?”

“I don’t know, some dumb b!tch asking if the coast is clear.”

Wife comes home to hearing disturbing squealing noises from the upstairs bedroom. She hesitates for a minute as her mind jumps to the very worst horrific possibility of her already shattered excuse of a marriage; then proceeds to venture up the stairs closer and closer to the sloppy wet splashing an... read more

from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a w... read more

when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?"

The cop answers, "You're in Arkansas son.... read more

A young woman was walking through the park late one night on her way home. Known to be a risky part of the neighbourhood, she feared the worst when a sinister looking man stopped her in her tracks. The man, while eyeing the handbag she had slung on her side, questioned, "where are you heading lady?"... read more

Irmageddon




Bu-dum-tch

My wife can be such a b!tch during the holidays.

The 9 year old says to the 7 year old
“I think that we’re old enough to start swearing now.”

The 7 year old says
“Okay but when will we do it”

The 9 year old just says
“Follow my lead.”

They walk into the kitchen and their mother says
“What would you like for bre... read more

1: how is it going, mate?

2: don't even ask. I had a slip of the tongue: my wife showed herself in a new dress and asked, what she looked like. I wanted to say: "far better, than the old one" and instead I said "fatter". She doesn't talk to me since 3 days. What about you?

1: I also h... read more

So an American WWII soldier finally takes a break from the frontlines and is on a train to London, where he will tour for the next week or so.
He boards a train and notices that there are no empty seats, as it is overcrowded, and begins to search for an empty seat. He walks to one end of the trai... read more

... and he says "alright all you f*ckers that are on get off and all you f*ckers that want to get on get on" At that his mom comes in and tells him that he has to sit in his room for an hour until he can play nice.
So he sits in his room for an hour and then goes out to his train set again. This... read more

There was once an extremely wealthy man who was known for his eccentric habits. One fine evening, he sent out an invite to all the young, able-bodied men of his city for a very "special" dinner, promising a grand prize for one lucky soul.

Knowing the rich man's generous nature, a hundred you... read more