UPJOKE
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Strips Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two bored male casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blond woman arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice

She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that, she strips down, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice come to a stop she jumps up and down and squeals, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”

She hugs each of the de...

I hate getting into arguments about Mobius Strips.

They're always one sided

Ya know why they put rumble strips on the side of roads?

It's braille. So that the blind can see where they're driving.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife strips naked in front of her husband and says, "when I did this 30 years ago, what did you think?"

He replies, I was thinking I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out."

She asks "And what are you thinking now?"

"Looks like I did a good job."

Man strips down live on tv

News flash that was today’s headlines

I used to enjoy the Snoopy & Charlie Brown comic strips in the Sunday papers, but lately I've been getting a rash after reading them.

I think I've developed an allergy to Peanuts.

Did you know that chicken strips are a new form of currency in some areas?

They’re considered legal “tender”

I'm thinking of buying some Velcro strips for my sneakers, and getting rid of the laces.

I mean, why knot?

My wife accidentally ordered way too many chicken strips for lunch

She was quite upset about, as she hates wasting food. My daughter I were quite happy to have some tasty junk food for dinner though. I said to my wife "We could do this again, I don't mind eating KFC. I hope this wasn't just a strip tease!"

Did you know Elvis was a big fan of Chicken Strips?

He even wrote a song about them called “Love Me Tender”.

The inventor of wax strips has just died.

RIP

Why does Waldo wear strips?

Why does Waldo wear strips?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted

whats so good about thin strips of cheese?

I don't know. It's just grate.

A Man And A Woman Get Into An Argument About Infidelity

The man is suspicious of his wife so he starts interrogating her asking her question after question.

The wife answers every question truthfully and even calls her friends or coworkers so that they can confirm too.

But this wasn't enough for her husband so he keeps on arguing and askin...

Two strips of film are talking in a bar

One says to the other "Why don't you and I go find a dark room and see what develops?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year is 2222 and John and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

John asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

The Martian resp...

I saw a fight between two Möbius strips

It was a little one sided

(One of them had a Klein bottle)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man strips down naked at a beach.

As he's lying on the sand naked he notices two very elderly women walking his way.

To prevent the women from having any sort of anxiety attack, the man quickly covers himself with sand not realizing his penis was still sticking out.

As both women approach they stop and stare in shock...

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