Stat Jokes

This increases to 78.47 if you add a decimal

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The physicist says, "I know what ... read more

Now I've just got to figure out if it's my girlfriend or my wife.

But I think it builds character.

...just his league

But I still excel in my field!

...when they came upon a deer by a river.

The first professor fired his rifle, and the shot went three feet to the left.
The second professor fired, and the shot went 3 feet to the right.

The third stood and exclaimed "Alright! We got him!"

I thought that was mean.

He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem

That means that 75% of women are walking around unmedicated!

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,



This week the stat went up to 9/9!

'Stat chu bro?

Stat-choo!

But then again, you should always take stats from the internet with a pinch of salt.

The developers accidentally gave Totinos a randomized heat resistance stat.

....He pulls her over and asks her if she has and weapons in her vehicle. She reply’s
“
yes I have a 22 in my glove box.”

He says ok anything else? she says,

“yes I have a shotgun in my trunk. “

He reply’s, is that all. She says

“no I have a handgun in my purse.”... read more

It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, "How many is a brazilian?"

I need my thermos, stat!

... are told that 2 people walk into an empty house, and that later 3 people walk out.

The engineer says, "It's simple. There must have been an observational error, happens all the time."

The biologist says, "Ah, the two people must have been a couple and had a child."

The mathe... read more

They let go of her after being paid the ransom. Now the blonde is being questioned by the cops,for info on the kidnappers.

Cop:Mam, did you get a good look at them?

Blonde:No they were wearing masks.

Cop: Do you have anything to help us with the case?

Blonde: Yes I do... read more

Why do professors like stats and physics students?

Because they'll work for p naughts.

Cynthia had known that Andrew was obsessed with football ("soccer"), but she hadn't realised just how much. Andrew spent hours every day watching games, reading commentary, and analysing player stats. As she did not care much for the sport, Cynthia was hoping to convince him to spend more time with ... read more

One day i was walking home from work when all of a sudden i hear 'bang bang bang' behind me. I turned around to see what is making the noise an i see nothing. I carry on walking but after a while i hear the same noise but even louder. It sounds like someone hitting a wooden fence on the ground. I tu... read more