Autocorrect is always spot on and genuinely helps me be more productive on my mobile device.

Autocorrect is your friend. Always and everywhere.

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A guy develops a dark spot on his forehead.

He goes to the doctor. The doctor looks and says:
“I’ve read about this before. In a month you’ll have a full sized penis growing out of your forehead.”
The man’s eyes go wide and he says:
“Well then operate! Get rid of it!”
The doctor shakes his head. “It’s connected to your brain. If I...

What is the best hiding spot on internet?

The second page of google search results.

I wonder what the red spot on my arm is...

....better consult a doctor before I make a ‘rash’ decision

I played monopoly once and landed on every spot on the board except for one...

I never stood a chance.

At 14.6%, Nevada occupies the No.1 spot on the American Divorce Chart.

It's a bad state of affairs.

Was on Twitter earlier telling everyone about how I had this tiny spot on my top lip that turned into a massive cold sore…

It's gone viral…

American political party symbols are spot on...

Trump is the elephant in the room, and the DNC is full of jackasses!

What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?

A gap in coverage.

The parking spot on Richard III's grave was restricted...

Only two-door cars were allowed.

The Sweet Spot On A Woman's Body

My friend at work was telling me about an article he read over the weekend. Apparently there's a spot on a woman's body, that if you hit it just right it will make their legs turn to jelly.

It's called the chin

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Whats the most insensitive spot on a man's penis?

The man


I really need a counter joke for that one

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A cruise ship spies a seemingly deserted island in the distance...

(Warning: This is a joke that might only be understood by Jews. That said, it's a classic, and one that most Jews find to be extremely funny and spot on. If you're not Jewish, read on if you would like to glean some insight into Jewish humor and culture.)

 

So a cruise sh...

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Our marriage guidance counselor offers a 24 hour SMS advice service

It's difficult to decipher some of his typos and auto-corrects, but his recommendation for a suck-sex-full relationship was spot on!

A man wants to go ice fishing.

He goes onto the ice, drills a hole, and puts out his line.
Suddenly he hears a loud voice from above, saying ‘THERE ARE NO FISH THERE.’
He gets up, a little confused, and moves to another spot on the ice, drilling another hole and throwing his line out again.
Once again, he hears: ‘THER...

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I think Jobs are too snoopy when it comes to our private sex lives

Whenever it has the spot on the application that says “sex: ”, as a young man, I’m always just slightly caught off guard. I reluctantly put my number of times there.

Sometimes it provides me with the choice of “M” or “F” online. I always select the F for few. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to...

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A man on a beach walks up to a woman in a wheelchair

This woman is crying, he asks “why Are you crying?” She says “ nobody has ever taken me on a date before” he says, “oh well, I’ll take you on a date!” So they go on a nice date and he takes her back to the spot on the beach he met her at, as he walks away, he hears crying again “what is it now?” He...

A man is driving down a country road...

... and his car suddenly breaks down. He pulls over and starts to look under the hood when he hears a voice from behind.

"Looks like your timing chain broke"

He turns around and is surprised to see a horse standing there and nobody else around.

The man runs away scared and reach...

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A guy suffering from banging headaches, finally gets to see a specialist after baffling doctors for years.

He explains to the specialist that for years now he has been suffering from banging headaches, and everything he has tried so far has no impact on the headaches at all.

The specialist carries out an examination, pokes and prods around a bit and has an idea. He runs a couple tests to be sure, ...

That was your greatest trick.

There was once a magician who performed sleight-of-hand tricks on a cruise ship. He had a regular spot on the ship's cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the on-board parrot who would fly around squawking and giving away his ...

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Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???

My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness"
All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"

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A guy walks into a bar...

... and is almost inclined to leave again, since the place appears to be way beyond his budget. The in design is spot on and as fancy as can be, in the corner there is a little person playing the piano perfectly and every liquor, beer or other beverage you could name are all on offer. Also there are...

Five redditors are walking in the forest...

...when they find a lamp on the ground. One of them rubs it, and (as expected), a genie appears. Because he's feeling particularly generous, the genie decides to grant all five of them one wish each.

The first one steps forward. "I would like a ten-inch-tall piano player, please". The genie ...

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