Spontaneously Jokes - 23 Hilarious Spontaneously Jokes

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The anal dildo was invented entirely spontaneously...

From what I hear, the inventor just pulled it out of his ass

I have a condition where I spontaneously tell jokes at random times

I think it's a gag reflex.

‘Doctor, I keep spontaneously singing songs by The Who’

‘How long has this been happening?’

‘Ever since I was a young boy…’

I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day

Guess you could call it a rare experience

What fruit cant spontaneously get married?

Cantaloupe

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I have a condition where my boner spontaneously shouts insults at people

I suffer from an Erectile Diss Function.

My sister when through a phase where she spontaneously split down the middle making two identical copies. Now they are...

My one Sis and Mitosis.

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

Did you hear about the guy who spontaneously combusted?

He was arrested shorty after for waving a fire arm.

What do you call a spontaneous man named Lee?

spontaneously

A man walked into a bar and order a drink for himself and the empty seat next to him.

The bartender, perplexed as to why the man would order a drink for an empty chair, made two drinks for the man and the empty chair.
This seemed to happen every time the man entered the bar. He would order a drink for himself and an empty chair next to him.
Finally, curiosity overtook the barm...

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Man goes to the doctor.

Man: "Doc, you gotta help me. I sing spontaneously, and uncontrollably."

Doctor: what do you mean?

Man: Well whenever I see a woman on the street I start singing "She's a lady". And Any time I cross paths with a cat I'll sing "What's new pussy cat?".

Doctor : What you have is...

Some quantum physicists play twister at a party

Later that day, one of them spontaneously flattens and three seconds later the other is hit by a car: they were still entangled.

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I was on vacation walking my dog on a beach in Germany when the dog decided to run in and was taken by the current

I don’t know how to swim so I screamed for help and luckily a local German jumped in after him. The man got the dog out of the water and immediately started twisting the dogs ear while slapping its ass as I sat there crying. Spontaneously my dog stood up and started breathing again and ran into my a...

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A guy and his wife are on a trip....

And they stop at a hotel for the night.

The guy goes to the front desk and the lady at the desk tells him that the mirror in their room is magic. The guy blows her off and goes back to their room.

When he gets there, his wife is looking in the mirror with her top off and she says “I wi...

There was this physicist who came to the ice cream bar every day

to buy two ice creams: one for himself and another that he offers to the empty spot next to him.

Eventually, the ice cream salesman asks him: "Why do you keep doing that?"

P: "Well... quantum mechanics teach us that it's theoratically possible for a girl to spontaneously burst into exi...

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Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis

Subject: Women

Symbol: Wo

Discovered by: Adam

Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.

Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

A physicist walks in to an ice cream parlor...

... sits down and orders himself an ice cream and also a second ice cream that then offers to the empty stool next to him. He does this every day for about a week. Finally, the owner comes up to him and asks,
"Good afternoon. We were all wondering what's the deal with you ordering the second i...

A physicist sits down at a bar and orders two drinks.

He places one in front of the empty seat next to him, while he slowly consumes the other. Upon finishing, he orders another drink. The bartender notices the untouched beverage and motions to it. "Something wrong with this one?" "No," says the physicist, "that one is for my companion." "Oh," say...

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Do you have any to speak of?

So, there was once a man named Frank who lived in South Florida, and his life was virtually ideal. He had a beautiful wife and two kids, lived in a very nice home on the intracoastal waterway, and had a very successful yacht sales business. However, he had one problem that had plagued him his whole ...

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So a man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says "Now sir, what seems to be the problem?" And the man tells him "Well it's a little embarrassing you see SEX BOMB SEX BOMB! YOU'RE MY SEX BOMB AND BABY YOU CAN TURN ME ON"

The doctor is stunned and says "what the hell was that?"

"That's the problem doc every now and th...

A physicist, a mathematician, and a biologist were in the park

A physicist, a mathematician, and a biologist were in the park eating lunch.

As they eat they see two people walk into a house.

After a while they see three people leave the house.

The physicist says "Simple, due to Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, the universe has spontaneou...

A married couple were playing golf

on a sweet Sunday afternoon. The wife out of nowhere weirdly asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?". The husband swiftly replied, "No sweetie, you know I wouldn't".
The wife immediately got back saying, "Don't lie to me. I'm sure you would".

The husband sensed this mi...

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