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Spacey Jokes

I wonder if Kevin Spacey's trial will be postponed.

I mean with the SAG strike, he can't act innocent.
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Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?

Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.
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Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in Vegas,...

Blackjack Dealer

Because they hit on anything under 17.
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In his trial the jury was told Kevin Spacey wanted to be an astronaut

A witness said that Spacey told him that he would like to get to Uranus.

TIL that after starring in 21 Kevin Spacey tried to play Blackjack professionally and lost all of his money.

Kept hitting on 17.
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Kevin Spacey walks into a bar

But after realizing the drinking age is 21 decides that he'd rather hang out somewhere else.
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Kevin Spacey likes his guys like he likes his whiskey...

12 years old and in a barrel, OR 18 years old and full of coke.
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What does Kevin Spacey say when he's about to eat?

"bone a petite"
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How is Kevin Spacey like Walmart?

They both have boys pants half off.
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After discovering that Kevin Spacey is a sexual predator, I would be surprised to see him get any work in the future.

Unless he runs for President of the United States.

I wonder why Kevin Spacey is such a good guitarist.

Probably because he’s had a lot of practise fingering minors
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Why did Kevin spacey quit his music career?

He didnt know th difference between minor and a minor
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Did you hear Kevin Spacey is making a prequel to 21?

It's called "Always Hit on 14"
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What's Kevin Spacey's favourite musical note?

A minor
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I can't stand Kevin Spacey and people like him.

They're all fucking immature assholes.

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Kevin Spacey's new job

Kevin Spacey's new job is at EA. They heard he likes to fuck 14 year olds over and over, just like them.

Why can Kevin Spacey never win a race?

He always comes in a little behind.
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What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and Mozart?

It's hard to get Mozart to play with A minor.
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Say what you want about Kevin Spacey

but at least he slows down in school zones.
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When was bed time at Kevin Spacey's house?

When the big hand touched the little hand.
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What's Kevin Spacey's favorite college?

Brigham Young
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Whats Kevin Spacey's Favorite Opera?

The Magic Flute .... in a minor.
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What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious Basterds.
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Bryan Singer and Kevin Spacey walk up to a bar

The bartender asks for their IDs. They walk away and say" well I guess we're not going to find what we're looking for here."
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Where did Kevin Spacey perform the best?

Kindergarten.
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What did the woman say to Kevin Spacey on the beach?

Could you please move, you're in my son.
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Kevin spacey got turn down to play Santa.

Apparently they didn’t trust him with the naughty list.
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For decades I've always liked Kevin Spacey

Turns out he stopped liking me decades ago
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What do Kevin Spacey and Santa Claus have in common?

They both like to empty their sacks for young boys.
(I know it's an old MJ joke)
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Why doesn't Kevin Spacey win first place in marathons?

He isn't an athlete and doesn't train for marathons
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Why has Kevin Spacey never won the world series?

He is still playing in the minors.
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What's the difference between Kevin Spacey and a bank loan?

One waits until you are an adult before it fucks you.

I had Kevin Spacey show up at a house party

I don’t see what all the fuss about him is. I was chatting to him for an hour about all things from art and music to politics.

He’s a very articulate and intelligent man but I must say his sense of direction is a bit off.

He cut our conversation short saying that he had to use the li...
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What do Margaret Thatcher and Kevin Spacey have in common?

They both fuck miners

Kevin Spacey is no longer going to be an actor. He's going to teach guitar.

Be cause he's good at fingering A Minor.
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It makes more sense now why Kevin Spacey helped Baby in Baby Driver

He saw a little bit of himself in Baby, figuratively and literally.
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Kevin Spacey while writing his apology: "I could own up to the mistakes I've made...

...butt fuck it"

A man sees an ad in the paper

The ad reads "Guaranteed program to help you get fit!"

The man thinks to himself "you know, I can stand to lose a few pounds" and calls the number. A man answers the phone and says "thank you for contacting us. We offer 3 plans. The first is our lightest plan and the third is our most intens...
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Someone asked Keven Spacey "What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?"

He said there are 20 of them.

The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign

it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because the villian in 7 was played by Kevin Spacey, and we all know he is a six offender.
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How big is a paedophile's closet?

It's pretty spacey

How do you make a house of cards collapse?

Just give it time and Spacey
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There's a new drug that is guarenteed to get you molested.

The only side effect is you feel Spacey.
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What was the worst thing to come out in 2017?

Kevin Spacey
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Why did SpaceX go to Mars

Becuase SpaceY already went to Uranus

When I was 14, I attended a party in Hollywood.

I swear, someone must have slipped something into my drink because after awhile I was definitely feeling spacey.
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Neil DeGrasse Tyson is now being investigated for sexual misconduct.

But is it really all that surprising that an astrophysicist pulled a Spacey?

As a young boy I dreamt of touching the stars.

Then I met Kevin Spacey. :-(
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What was in the box that made Brad Pitt so angry in Se7en?

Kevin Spacey's rock hard dick.

How To Lose Your Career in Ten Days!

Ask Kevin Spacey!
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It's going to be in the teens all next week

just like Kevin Spacey
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A guy starts his first day at a bakery...

The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.

"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a fi...
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Why do male victims in Hollywood forget their sexual assault incidents?

They were feeling Spacey.

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New Movie

Kevin Spacey is making a sequel to an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

Kidergarton Cock

What happened to the cast of House of Cards after shooting their last episode?

Kevin Spacey held a Rapp party.
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Meeting Tom Hanks made my whole day ... [NSFW]

meeting Kevin Spacey made my hole weak.


I'll see myself out ...

Disclaimer: I met none.
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This new amazon echo is really amazing

I set it up today and said “Make my day” and got a list of Clint Eastwood movies

Then I said “yippie Kay yay” and got a list of Bruce Willis movies

Just then my neighborhood kids were running and screaming outside the house

I muttered “Fucking kids”

And a bunch of Kev...

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